There are many signs that you have hurt the narcissist. They may get very angry. Or they may ignore you. But there is one sign that will reveal if you have hurt the narcissist, more than any other sign. And that is when they retaliate. That is when they fight back. When they try to hurt you. Because when they do that, they are reacting to something you've said or done. Or something that they've seen or heard. If you have hurt the narcissist, in most situations they will try to hurt you. They will try to get revenge. Because they're experiencing emotional distress. But they don't know how to regulate their emotions. So they depend on you for that. Which is why they will then try to hurt you. This is the number one sign that you have hurt the narcissist. Because they all react in the same way. But there are many different ways in which they may try to hurt you. They will verbally abuse you. They will become physically abusive.
They will minimise your accomplishments and try to sabotage your success. They will triangulate you with another person. They will smear your name. They will stalk and harass you. And their motivation for doing this is because they're hurt. It should reveal to you that you have hurt the narcissist. However the narcissist makes you feel is already how they feel. Because it's not a coincidence. It's a structured plan to hurt you. To make you feel the same way they do. Because they know those emotions all too well. Which is why when you have hurt the narcissist, they will try to hurt you. Because it regulates their own emotions. They will try to make you angry or upset. They will try to make you envious or jealous. Anxiety and fear. Guilt and shame. Because that's exactly how they feel. Which is how they're able to articulate that emotion in you. Because they know it all too well. It's how they already feel. If you have hurt the narcissist enough, it will cause a narcissistic injury. Which will be followed by narcissistic rage. And then they will try to get revenge in some way. A person who is happy and satisfied with their lives, feels no need to hurt anyone. They don't feel any need to get revenge. When the narcissist tries to hurt you, the root of this behaviour stems from their own misery and dissatisfaction with their lives. It has very little to do with you. Which is how their behaviour can often seem so extreme in response to a minor situation. They turn molehills into mountains. They act like it's more than what it is. Because then that gives them an opportunity to get their rocks off, in response to all of the other times they've been hurt. If you have hurt the narcissist, they will go out of their way to hurt you. Because they can't help themselves. They can't regulate their own emotions. They have to elevate themselves at your expense. Which is how you should know that however you feel following an interaction or engagement with the narcissist. That is exactly how they want you to feel. And it is likely to be how they feel. Emotions are very contagious. Especially with narcissists, as they are so overbearing. Which is why their emotions, feelings and attitudes are likely to spread and affect you. But this is how you know that you have hurt the narcissist. Because they will then try to hurt you. They will try to bring you down to their level. They will try to cause some type of disruption. They are very restless.
So they cannot allow you to be at rest. They can't stand the thought of you being happy and enjoying your life. While they're miserable and depressed. It eats away at them. So they have to bring you down. They have to give you a reason to be sad and down just like them. But when they do that, it should reveal to you that they are hurt. You have hurt the narcissist. They are just responding to the pain that you may have caused. Which is something that they will always be responding to.
Because they don't know how to regulate their emotions. They have so many unhealed traumas. And that is what dictates how they behave. Because when they get hurt, it activates these traumas. Which is how their behaviour can often seem so extreme. Because they're responding to everything that went wrong in their lives, before they even met you. Which they are now holding you responsible for. But if you want to know if you have hurt the narcissist. This is the number one sign. If you have hurt the narcissist, they will try to hurt you.
This article is VERY helpful, NS. You have a sense for what people need to know and hear out-loud. Knowing what is happening inside the narc is the part that I have been blocking out. I think I have blocked who the individual (narc) is inside me and out (trauma that restricts my awareness). I actually blocked out from my vision that my father was an Aries narc (very, very dominating). I think I was tooooo scared. I was very, very scared. But since I have been gaining in internal power with knowledge and introspection, I feel a bit more solid that I can battle narcissism in me and then in the outer world, which includes my father …