Most of us meet narcissists when we are going through a difficult time in our lives. When we are lonely. When we desire companionship. Because they can sense that we don't want to be alone. They can sense if we don't value our own company. And then they come around to exploit that. To take advantage of us when we need them the most. Because they know that is when we're going to be at our weakest. They know that is when they're going to be able to make full use of and derive benefit from us. Because then you're just going to give them whatever they want. You're going to give them all of your attention. You're going to validate them. You might even give them money or a place to stay. When they haven't even earned it. And they know they're not deserving of it. Which only inflates their ego even more. It makes them even more arrogant and entitled. And they just see you as an easy target. Once they've got all of that from you, they want to see how far they can take it. They want to see what else they can get out of you. Because they don't have any empathy for you.
As long as they're getting what they want, they don't care about how it affects you. Which is why relationships should always be reciprocal. There should always be a mutual benefit. They should always be doing something for you in exchange. They should be earning it. It should be an incentive for them to be good to you. You shouldn't give them whatever they want just because they're attractive or because they're nice to you. But this is what most people are doing. They're giving the narcissist whatever they want. They're making their lives easier. While the narcissist isn't doing anything for them in return. Which is why it's important to look within ourselves. It's important to take accountability for where we find ourselves, so that it doesn't happen again. Many people do this because they don't want to be alone. Because they don't value themselves. If they valued themselves enough, they wouldn't give that to someone who didn't earn it. Which is why you need to know your value. You need to know that you're good enough as you are, without giving anything to them. This is why narcissists are able to thrive in this world Because people are willing to give them things that they haven't earned. They're willing to give them things they don't deserve. They're doing things for them, when the narcissist hasn't done anything for them in return. Until they start to think that people are weak and stupid. Because people are doing whatever they want. People are enabling their behaviour to continue. And they're often good people. They're people who do it because they think it's the right thing to do. But narcissists don't see it that way. They don't see you as a good person. They don't value your kindness. They see your kindness as a weakness. They see it as something for them to exploit. They don't value anything you're doing for them. Which is why when they leave their victim for their new source of supply, it's almost always a downgrade.
It's for someone who isn't doing anything for them. Because deep down the narcissist that knows that they don't deserve your love and compassion. So when you do all of these things for them, it inflates their ego. They become even more arrogant and entitled. And then they begin to demand and expect more from you. Or if you can't fulfil their expectations, they're going to start looking for people who have more money than you do. Or people who they deem to be more attractive. They feel entitled to it, because there's so many desperate, lonely people who make them feel like they deserve it. Just because they exist. Which is why it's so important for us to look within and take accountability for where we find ourselves. It's important to evaluate why you're doing this for the narcissist. Are you doing it because you want something from them in return? You need to recognise that narcissists don't feel any desire to reciprocate what you're doing for them. They don't feel like they should have to do anything for you. They expect you to see it as a privilege just to be around them. But you should want to be with someone who has made the decision to be with you. Because they value who you are as a person. They value your qualities and abilities. Rather than what you can provide to them. Because otherwise they will just see you as a fool. And after you've done all of these things for them or you run out of money, they're just going to leave and find someone else. Because they were only with you for money. They only stayed with you because of what you gave to them in the beginning. Because you didn't think you were good enough. You didn't value yourself. When you are with someone, you should never lead with money. You should do things that aren't expensive. Then you will see if they really value and appreciate you as a person. Then you will see if they really desire you. Because most of these narcissists don't have anything. They depend on selling you a dream. They depend on giving you hope.
They depend on their future faking. Because they know that's the only thing they have that can keep you around. They don't have anything else to give. All they can do is pretend that they're good people. While they take everything that you have to give. And then they're gone. But it all starts from them giving you hope. From them selling you a dream. Making you believe that they have something. Because they know that's a way to keep you around. They know it's a way for them to get what they need from you.
They are master manipulators. They have to be in order to survive. They don't have the qualities a person would need to survive on their own. So by default, they have to be fake. They have to wear a mask. So that they can deceive you and get what they want. And then have a better life at your expense. While they drain you and make your life worse.