Narcissists Hoover You For THIS REASON

Narcissists often return with fake apologies and false epiphanies, pretending they’ve realized their mistakes and want to make amends. However, their true motive for hoovering you is far from genuine. Narcissists hoover to take revenge. They are petty, focusing on trivial matters and blowing them out of proportion. They turn molehills into mountains, creating chaos and unnecessary drama.

In their minds, they are the centre of the world. Everything revolves around them, and they find ways to make every situation about themselves. This is why, whenever there’s disruption or conflict, the narcissist is often at the centre of it. If they feel wronged, even after the relationship has ended, they will plot revenge. Hoovering is their way of pulling you back into their web of control.

When dealing with a narcissist, the relationship often follows a predictable cycle: love bombing, devaluation, and discard. Narcissists don’t seek genuine relationships or friendships. Instead, they aim to repeat this cycle endlessly, using you for their own gain.

If a narcissist hoovers you, it doesn’t mean they’ll take revenge immediately. They may start with love bombing while secretly sabotaging your achievements or plans. For example, they might try to get you fired, target you financially, or ruin your new relationship. These actions boost their ego and give them a sense of power. Once they’ve drained you of your resources or caused enough damage, they’ll ghost you and move on, often laughing at your expense.

Narcissists hoover for different reasons, depending on the circumstances:

• If You Discarded Them: They may feel a narcissistic injury because they lost control over someone they deemed valuable. In this case, they hoover to punish you and regain their sense of superiority.

• If They Discarded You: They’re less likely to care about your life post-breakup unless they still see you as valuable. If they do hoover, it’s often to boost their ego by discarding you again.

Regardless of the reason, hoovering is always about control. Narcissists want to feel powerful and important, and they’ll use any tactic to achieve this.

Narcissists are manipulative and will use various strategies to draw you back in:

• Fake Apologies and Epiphanies: Pretending they’ve changed or realized their mistakes.

• Crisis Stories: Claiming they’re going through a tough time and need your help.

• Jealousy Triggers: Posting pictures or updates designed to make you jealous or curious.

• “Accidental” Contact: Pretending they called or messaged you by mistake.

• Baiting: Sending vague messages to provoke a response.

These tactics are designed to elicit an emotional reaction, whether it’s sympathy, curiosity, or anger. Narcissists thrive on your attention and will do whatever it takes to get it.

At the core, narcissists are deeply insecure. Their false self-image is fragile, and it doesn’t take much to challenge their sense of self. When they feel offended or wronged, they seek revenge to restore their ego. Often, their feelings of offense are based on distorted beliefs or assumptions, not reality.

Unlike emotionally healthy individuals, narcissists lack the ability to regulate their emotions internally. Instead, they project their pain onto others, seeking to make you feel as miserable as they do. This is why they hold grudges and seek vengeance, even when no harm was intended.

Understanding the motives and tactics of narcissists can help you protect yourself. If a narcissist tries to hoover you:

• Set Boundaries: Avoid engaging with them, no matter how tempting it may be.

• Stay Firm: Don’t fall for their manipulative tactics or fake apologies.

• Focus on Healing: Prioritise your well-being and surround yourself with supportive people.

Remember, narcissists hoover not because they care about you, but because they want to regain control. By recognising their behaviour for what it is, you can take steps to protect yourself and move forward.

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