Narcissists Are Afraid Of Losing. The narcissist always tries to dodge responsibility. They try to dodge responding to the best of their ability. They try to avoid the state or fact of having a duty to deal with whatever they are responsible for. Not only that, but they don't want to be held accountable or to blame for anything. Even if it is something that they are required to do as part of their job, role or legal obligation. They don't want to take the risk of responding to the best of their ability, because they are afraid of losing.
When they are dodging responsibility, they are dodging the feeling of loss. They are avoiding any reflection on their feelings of inadequacy. These feelings of inadequacy are often projected outwards on to you. So that you can express those emotions for them, which then regulates them. The narcissist dodges responsibility as a form of protection. If they are not responsible, they cannot be accountable. They believe that by dodging responsibility, they can dodge the consequences of their actions.
This is an illusion that they have created in their own minds, their own world... which leaves them detached from anything real or grounded in reality. The narcissist will modify certain scenarios or create their own distorted meanings or interpretations in their minds, as a coping mechanism for their feelings of loss, failure, embarrassment or shame. This is why they modify certain scenarios. Or make up their own meanings for certain things or reinterpretations.
It's to help them cope with their feelings of loss. Their feelings of failure, embarrassment or shame. They cannot acknowledge the truth. They cannot deal with reality. Furthermore, they cannot accept responsibility. They are trying to dodge responding to the best of their ability, because in this world that they have created in their minds, they believe that it can help them dodge their feelings of loss, failure, embarrassment or shame. It's a coping mechanism, it's designed to help them cope with these feelings.
They are afraid of losing. If they were to lose, it would be far more painful and distressing than it would be for us. This is why they always have to control the environment or situation. They will even do it forcefully, if that's what they have to do to establish a certain level of control. If that's what they have to do to make it go their way. This is why they cheat, lie and steal. This is why they have this mindset of getting you before you get them. They have a fear of losing. And they don't try to win in a fair or honest way, because they already expect to lose.
They already expect to lose, so they have to resort to these tactics, to make it go their way. They don't have strong willingness or determination to achieve what they want or to get the result or outcome that they were hoping to get. Likewise, they have to take shortcuts or use tactics, manipulating you, tearing you down. Cheating, lying and stealing. Whatever it takes for them to get the outcome that they want. Because they don't have the willingness or determination to make it happen without doing this.
People who have strong willingness or determination do not need to tear anyone down. They do not need to cheat, lie or steal. They can get the result or outcome because they have strong willingness or determination. The narcissist also has a weak character, so they have to manipulate or control the situation. People who have a strong character do not need to manipulate or control the situation. The narcissist always has to manipulate or control the situation because of their fear of losing.
This feeling of fear consumes them. They are always fearful about someone hurting them or taking advantage of them. They have a weak character, they are weak willed. So they are always obsessively trying to control the situation. They are always trying to get you before you get them. Due to their deficiencies or inadequacies, they already expect to lose. And a loss for them is far more painful or distressing than it would be for us. This is why they always avoid responding to the best of their ability.
They don't want to go through the process or the trials of tribulations of what it takes to develop a strong character. To develop these qualities of willingness or determination. They don't want to go through the process to achieve these qualities or traits. So instead they take shortcuts, they cut corners. They cheat, lie and steal, doing whatever it takes to get the result or outcome that they want. But by cutting corners, they just round in a circle. Which is why they always repeat the same things again and again throughout their lives.
When a person responds to the best of their ability, it involves putting in effort to the best of their ability to achieve what they believe they are capable of. The narcissist doesn't believe in themselves. They don't believe that they can compete by playing honestly or fairly. This is why they have to cheat, lie and steal. This is why they have to manipulate or control the situation. They have to do this because they are afraid of losing. They are not afraid to lose because they have put the work in. Or because they are worthy or deserving of achieving anything great.
They have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and abilities and believe that they have already won. So they feel entitled to whatever they want. They believe that they are deserving of privileges or special treatment. And that's why they think it's ok for them to cheat, lie or steal. Because in their minds they are the exception to any rules or laws.