Updated: Oct 18, 2021
The narcissist sees you as an object, a toy or an extension of them. The reason for this is that you cannot truly understand the value of a human being when you are a narcissist. You have to be real to recognize real. If you're nothing more than a fake ass narcissist, you are not capable of understanding the value of a real person. The narcissists hate people who are real, honest and genuine. They see it as a threat because it's a reminder of everything they are not, everything they wish they were. Your presence resurfaces the root anxieties and insecurities of the narcissist. And they cannot deal with that, they can't stand it.
You can never please the narcissist because the narcissist can never please themselves. They are battling an endless amount of self-hate, anger and envy. It's too much for them to cope with on their own. So sharing their hate, anger and envy with you is their coping mechanism. They specifically targeted you because you are full of love, happiness and positivity. If you have no hate, anger or envy in you to begin with, you have a lot of space to carry their negative emotions. They look at you and think "how are you so happy, full of peace and in harmony with themselves, and I'm full of hate, anger and envy?".
You become a reminder of everything they are not as a person. It makes them want to destroy you and then steal or mimic the positive qualities that you possessed. They will try to do a personality swap. They will abuse and manipulate you. You will begin to see yourself becoming more bitter and hateful like them, while they become happier and positive like you were before they abused and manipulated you. But they cannot maintain any positivity or happiness for long periods of time. Which is why they will continue to abuse you. Narcissists are really insecure and have an inferiority complex. This is why they are so focused on your mistakes.
If we wrote our mistakes or faults down, they would probably fit on a single sheet of paper.
If the narcissist wrote their mistakes down, they would probably require a book the size of the Bible. This is why they will often use tactics like distorting your reality, distorting your identity, projection, denial and blame-shifting. The narcissist cannot accept a reality where they are at fault, where they have made a mistake. So they will distort reality. The narcissist cannot allow you to have all of these good qualities while they are full of hate, anger and envy. So they will distort your identity to make you believe that you are not as happy or positive as you believe yourself to be. Or you are not as intelligent, not as good-looking.
If you are a genuinely happy, positive person and at peace with yourself, you would never feel the need to abuse or manipulate anyone. They are not happy, they are not positive, and they are not at peace with themselves, that's what makes them who they are, they can't stand themselves, so they can't stand you. In the beginning, they loved us so much and admired us so greatly. But it soon turned into hate, anger and envy due to their insecurities and inferiority complex. Any small sign of our progression or happiness only fuels their motivation to abuse and manipulate you, and it fuels their desire to destroy you.
When you begin to see these people for what they really are and what they are trying to accomplish, not only do they look small, but everything they do and say looks small too.
It's time to start seeing these people for what they really are. Low quality, low value, insignificant, sadistic, emotional predators. When you start seeing them in this way, every single tactic they use only lowers their value and credibility even more. Each attempt of their abuse is like they are digging themselves a hole which they can never climb out of. When you begin to see them for what they really are... their comments can no longer affect your emotions, their manipulative strategies become nothing more than a waste of their time and effort.
If someone is willing to go out of their way and waste all of their time and effort just to abuse you, well they must think pretty damn highly of you. If they didn't, they wouldn't waste their time. And when you realize this and truly believe it, you will see them differently.