DO NOT Feel Bad For The Narcissist
- Narc Survivor

- Oct 4
- 6 min read

Don't feel sorry for them because you're dealing with someone who is negative and unhelpful, someone who is pessimistic and defeatist, someone who is trying to cancel you out and render you ineffective. They are a danger to themselves and everyone around them because they're not even considering the results or effects of their actions. They don't care about the consequences, which makes them very dangerous. When you're dealing with someone like that, they will end up damaging you. They will end up destroying every aspect of your life because they're damaging and destructive.

By their actions, you may assume that they're just undergoing a difficult experience, but so are a lot of people. What they're doing is a conscious and deliberate choice. They know the difference between right and wrong, although they may often interpret things differently and come to different conclusions. They still understand the effects of what they're doing. They know when it's causing you pain. They know when it's harming you, and that's when they'll take it up a notch. They want to bother and trouble you. They want to make you suffer and cause distress.

A lot of it is based on their instincts rather than being thought out or planned, as though this is what they were destined to do, as though it was preordained. But you shouldn't try to help them because, in the end, they're just going to end up hurting you. It doesn't mean that you have to be ruthless. It doesn't mean that you have to be cruel and heartless. As far as we know, they're still human beings. But you need to recognize that they're not concerned about your health or well-being. They don't have your best interest in mind. They don't care about what happens to you.

If you try to help them, you're the one who is going to end up hurt in the end. Whenever you're dealing with a narcissist, you're taking a very foolish risk because they will always cheat you. They will always leave you in an unfair situation because they don't care about how you feel. Your feelings don't mean anything to a narcissist, and there's nothing you can do to change that. There is no different way you could have said or done something that would have made a difference. It wouldn't have changed anything because as soon as they find someone who is more susceptible, they will forget all about you. You will always be the one who is left thinking about them while they've moved on with another person. They're not even thinking about you. They don't care. You were just a pit stop, a stop for servicing and refueling, a brief rest during their journey, and then they kept it moving. Their only concern is where they're going next. They're not thinking about where they just left, so they're not thinking about you unless they have no other choice.

Yet, you're experiencing grief or dread, and you're wondering about what they're doing and who they're with when they're not even concerned about you. But it's because you think there's something more to them. You think there's something they haven't shown you. You think there's some missing piece to the puzzle, as though there's some deeper meaning to what they're doing which you can attach to, and then it will all make sense. You think there would be something that will benefit you, something that will help you, when there isn't.

They will forget about you very quickly and then move on to their next target. They will manipulate the next person just as they did with you. But it's difficult for you to let go because you were given a false image. They made you believe that they were interested in you, as though they wanted to build something with you. But they only did that to lock you under their control. It wasn't real.

Yet, many of you still believe in them, even after their reactive, opposing opinions and actions tried to make you ineffective in what you were trying to achieve. You still believe in the good times, even while they were deceiving you and putting you down. You still want to believe that they love you. You want to believe that they're emotionally connected to you, which only creates a problem for you. It doesn't affect them because they don't feel the way you feel. It means nothing to them. They don't care. They don't respect you.

When someone truly cares and respects another person, they will go out of their way to not cause issues or problems because they don't want to damage the relationship or connection, which is based upon shared feelings, interests, and experiences. Even if you hold a difference of opinion, they will still hold back. They will still refrain themselves. They want to show courtesy. They don't want to hurt or disrespect the relationship that you have.

But you don't get that from narcissists because they don't care about anything. They lack passion and purpose, so they don't care about how you feel, which is why they will say and do whatever they choose to because they have no concern. They were never with you in the first place. They never extended themselves beyond their own interests and needs because they have an inability to do that. They can't see you as a separate person. You're just an object to them, and they pacified you by acceding to your demands to keep you calm and quiet so that they could get what they want.

This is how it was so easy for them to move on because they were never really involved. They never intended on being a benefit to you or doing anything to support you outside of their own agenda. Everything they do is for the sake of their own advantage so that they can reap the rewards. Even though they may have been with you, that's all that it was. As soon as they see that they can benefit somewhere else, that act is over. Their fake feelings of being nice and contented with you will end because they already know they're not going to be any good for you. They know that in the long run, they couldn't give you anything that you're seeking because they were never that person. They were never that character that they led you to believe.

They've tricked you. They've got you to fall for their game. Meanwhile, they already know that if you knew who they really are, you wouldn't give them the time of day. You wouldn't want anything to do with them because then you would know that they're not really about anything for real. They know that, but you're the one who doesn't know.
It's why you remain with them even though it may be difficult and unpleasant because you don't know the other side of it. They never cared about how you felt. They mistreated you even while you were doing everything that they wanted you to do, which shows that they were never connected to you. They never had any intention of building anything with you because they never cared about you. This is why the treatment never matched with who they're claiming to be. It's really a situation where success is not possible. They will always come out on top because your values are different. You hold different principles and standards of behavior. You hold a different judgment of what is important in life. What you think is right and wrong is not right and wrong to them because it helps them to get what they want, and that's all they're really concerned about. They're not concerned about the future. They're not concerned about how things will pan out. All they care about is what they want right now.
You can never win. The only thing you can do is leave because otherwise, it's just going to end up feeling sorry for someone who is trying to destroy you.
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