5 Ways Narcissists Use Food To Control You
- Narc Survivor
- 13 hours ago
- 3 min read

Narcissists often use food as a tool to manage and control your body, thoughts, and actions. They manipulate you into doubting your decisions, pressuring and shaming you into compliance. But how do they achieve this? Let’s explore five ways narcissists use food to control you.

1. They Act Concerned
Narcissists often disguise their demands as genuine concern for your well-being. They may claim to care about your health and use this as an opportunity to criticize your dietary choices, portion sizes, or eating habits. They might even dictate specific times for meals, making it seem like they have your best interests at heart.
Over time, this constant criticism can erode your confidence, causing you to doubt your own decision-making abilities. This manipulation may lead to unhealthy eating patterns, such as overeating, undereating, or losing balance in your diet. What seems like concern is actually a tactic to control your behaviour and self-esteem.

2. They Criticize Your Eating Techniques
While table manners are important, narcissists take it to an extreme. They aren’t genuinely concerned about your dining etiquette—they’re simply looking for ways to criticize you. They may comment on how you hold your utensils, the speed at which you eat, or even the sounds you make while eating.
This constant nit-picking leaves you walking on eggshells, especially during meals. You become hyper-aware of your actions, overly cautious, and anxious. Narcissists use this to make you dependent on their approval, diminishing your confidence and making you feel powerless. Their goal is to control your behaviour and keep you seeking their validation.

3. They Make You Feel Guilty for Enjoying Food
Food is meant to be enjoyed—it’s a basic human need that sustains us. However, narcissists often make you feel guilty for finding joy in eating. They may criticize your food choices or belittle you for indulging in something you like, not because they care, but because they can’t stand to see you happy.
This behaviour stems from their own unhappiness. Seeing you enjoy something reminds them of their inability to feel the same way, so they sabotage your moments of joy. Over time, this can lead to feelings of shame, causing you to give up foods you love just to avoid their disapproval. Slowly, you lose touch with your own preferences, leaving you feeling empty and disconnected from yourself.

4. They Criticise Your Weight
Narcissists often target your self-esteem by criticizing your weight or body image. They may make passive-aggressive comments, compare you to others, or express disapproval of your appearance. This constant judgment makes you feel insecure, embarrassed, and overly self-conscious.
As a result, you may start avoiding meals at home or in public, fearing their criticism. This can lead to anxiety, stress, and even disordered eating habits. Narcissists deliberately use these tactics to maintain control over you, knowing that your insecurity makes you more dependent on their approval.

5. They Withhold Food
In extreme cases, narcissists may physically prevent you from accessing food. They might start arguments just as you’re about to eat or create situations where you’re unable to enjoy a meal. This form of control weakens you physically and emotionally, making it easier for them to manipulate you.
By depriving you of basic needs like food or sleep, narcissists aim to break your spirit and condition you to adopt their beliefs and demands. This isn’t about your eating habits or body weight—it’s about stripping away your autonomy and turning you into someone who is easier to control.

The Psychological Impact
Narcissistic abuse, especially when it involves food, can have devastating effects on your mental and physical health. It can lead to feelings of shame, anxiety, and a loss of identity. Over time, you may disconnect from your own needs and desires, becoming a shell of who you once were.
Narcissists justify their behaviour by blaming you for your reactions, never acknowledging their role in the harm they cause. This makes them dangerous, as they continue to manipulate and control without taking responsibility for their actions.

Final Thoughts
Narcissistic abuse is one of the most damaging experiences a person can endure. If you recognize these behaviours in your relationship, it’s important to seek support and take steps to regain control of your life. Remember, you deserve to enjoy food, feel confident in your body, and live free from manipulation.
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