You May NEVER Have Thought This Way About The Narcissist

You may never have thought about the narcissist in this way. It may never have crossed your mind, but narcissism is actually characterised by jealousy and envy. Yes, the narcissist is jealous of you, and that is why they are often so mean and competitive. It’s why they’re unkind, spiteful, and unfair, and why they drain you of everything you have. Yet, they are unwilling to give or share anything with you because they feel a discontented longing, aroused by your possessions, qualities, or luck.

They desire to have what you have, and they may also fear that someone or something might take you away from them. This is why they monitor, stalk, and harass you, and may even try to isolate you. They can be jealous of you even if they have the same things you do, because they’re not satisfied with what they have. They’re not satisfied with you. They keep wanting more—more than what you have—and they don’t want you to have anything because they want to be the centre of attention at all times. They crave more attention and importance than you.

If you have a house and the narcissist has a bigger house, they will still want your house. Even if they have enough money to buy ten houses, they will still want the one that belongs to you. It’s not just about the house; it’s the feeling you get from your qualities and possessions. They can’t achieve the same fulfilment as you do. They can’t be satisfied, so they want to deprive, devalue, and harm you. That is the only way they can feel good about themselves. By putting you down, they create an illusion of elevation for themselves, when otherwise they would feel depressed. They are empty vessels with a void that can never be filled, which is why they often cheat, lie, and steal to get what they want—because they can’t get it by being themselves.

They are jealous of your good qualities. You have honesty, integrity, empathy, and kindness. You’re comfortable in your own skin, while they are shame-based people doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. Narcissists only victimise people they are jealous of—people who have something they want to possess, something they wish they had. They wouldn’t attack you if they weren’t jealous of you. They’re jealous of your joy and happiness. They’re jealous of how everyone seems to like you. They’re jealous of your heart, mind, and soul. They attack you because you have something they cannot possess on their own.

When you truly understand this, it will help you deflect the pain, shame, and cruelty back to where it belongs—on the narcissist who caused you to feel that way. You will usually know exactly what they are jealous of because they will project it onto you when they rage. It may also be apparent from what they’ve deprived you of or withheld from you. Narcissists always reveal themselves. Their words and actions unintentionally expose things about themselves. What they want more than anything is the feelings you experience—your happy personality. Narcissists do not experience genuine positive emotions. They are emotionally bankrupt, so they want your happiness. They want to feel real emotions and real love.

This is why many victims of narcissists eventually resemble narcissists themselves. They develop a blank expression and a lack of strong emotion because they no longer have a reason to smile. They feel hopeless, dead inside, and there is no life in their eyes because the narcissist has drained it from them. Narcissists feed on our emotional reactions through their attention-seeking behaviour, to the point where we become desensitised. We no longer feel anything due to overexposure.

The main thing a narcissist is jealous of is our emotions—our ability to feel—because narcissists do not feel anything. This is why they provoke others to feel envy or jealousy. They want you to filter your emotions through them so they can live vicariously through you. That is the only way they can feel good about themselves—by thinking they have something you want. This is why they often use future faking. They can’t experience anything positive from engaging in life, so they manipulate you into rendering your emotions to them. This is why they are so negative. By being negative, they take from you. They take from you because they are jealous of you. They feel less than you, so they have to be better than you or appear better. Everything is a competition. If they can’t take something away from you, they will destroy it out of jealousy.

They will harm you in the most horrific ways—ways you could never imagine doing to anyone—because you’re not like them. The things they do are unforgivable. It’s so unacceptable that you cannot forgive them, yet they do it because they’re jealous and deeply insecure. They are so insecure that they want everything for themselves, but they have a void that can never be filled, so they’re never satisfied. They want anything that sparkles and glitters, anything striking or unusual, anything that gets the attention they so desperately need and crave.

When they target you, they become extremely jealous of your achievements, your job, your potential, your skills and abilities, and even your empathy. They are jealous of everything you are because they can’t be you. Even when they are love-bombing you, they hate you and are plotting to take it all away. They want to destroy everything you have, and that is exactly what they end up doing during the devaluation phase. They target your self-esteem, your confidence, and your beliefs about yourself until they paralyse you. They can’t stand the fact that you’re doing better than them. Maybe you earn more money, or you have better social skills. You connect with people on a deep level and make them feel comfortable, while the narcissist resembles a robot—unemotional and scripted.

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