Why Narcissists Always Look Like They're WINNING
- Narc Survivor

- Oct 14
- 2 min read

Narcissists often appear to be winning or achieving success. They may seem attractive, endearing, engaging, charming, and appealing. It might look like they are going somewhere and have won, which seems contradictory because, as narcissists, they can't sustain success over a long period. They can't produce anything good or be productive due to their disorder, which causes difficulty, distress, impairment, and suffering in their daily lives.

However, it doesn't always appear that way because many narcissists have enablers—people who support the illusion and make their success possible. These enablers encourage and enable the narcissist's negative and self-destructive behavior. They may not always be narcissists themselves but have their own issues, such as insecurity and low self-esteem, which brings them together with the narcissist. It may look like a perfect match because they desire to make the narcissist happy and validate them. The narcissist, in turn, keeps them under their influence and control by using other enablers who support the illusion and keep everyone in check.

This system works perfectly for the narcissist, who is self-absorbed, lacks empathy, and craves attention and praise. They can achieve this with minimal effort while everyone else deals with the problems. The clever part of the illusion is that it makes the narcissist look great while making everyone else look bad. The narcissist generates fake problems to create conflicts, ensuring that real problems are never identified or solved, which would threaten their position and comfort.

Some enablers may refuse to accept that the narcissist is abusive, while others may realize something is wrong. To keep them in check, the narcissist gets them to fight against each other, reducing the likelihood of the illusion being threatened. This manipulation is highly skilled, as enablers defend the illusion without realizing it exists. Some enablers don't even care about the illusion, even though it destroys everyone, including the narcissist.

Narcissists thrive in dysfunction and are comfortable with it. They like their disorder and how it works for them, but it is inconvenient for the enablers, making it difficult for them to get along with others and get things done. The illusion requires incompetence and mismanagement, and enablers must defend it out of fear of the narcissist's reaction if the illusion is threatened.

The illusion requires a lot of work, both physical and mental, to maintain. It is purposeless and unnecessary, promoting negative aspects and amplifying bad qualities until everything falls apart. The illusion may look sophisticated, but it is greater than it actually is. Once people start noticing the details and making judgments, the battle is lost for the narcissist. They can't adapt everything for a different purpose, and despite their efforts to fool others, they remain narcissists, acting like narcissists, and ultimately, they have already lost, even if they haven't realized it.
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