Why Did The Narcissist Do That To You? - TRUTH REVEALED

Why did they do that to you? For what reason or purpose?

We often ask this question because we assume there must be a cause or intention behind an action or situation. We believe there must be a motive. Their actions may seem surprising, even unexpected, leaving you unable to understand why they would behave that way. You can’t quite put your finger on it. Instead of holding them accountable or questioning their behaviour, you may end up blaming yourself—exactly what the narcissist is counting on.

They want you to blame yourself for their actions, and sadly, this is often what happens to victims. Lacking awareness and unable to understand their abuser, victims feel shame and blame themselves for what has happened. They assume that if someone treated them poorly, there must be something wrong with them, rather than recognising the flaws in the person who caused the harm.

Instead of asking yourself, "Why did they do that to me?" a better question might be, "How could they do that to me?" When we ask "how," we are questioning the means and mental state behind their actions. This approach allows you to explore the narcissist’s mindset and dissect what drives their behaviour.

The reality is that the confines of a narcissist’s mind are extremely unpleasant. They experience endless torment and suffering—constant emotional distress. No matter how good things may appear on the outside, internally, they are miserable. This inner turmoil causes them to sabotage any good opportunities they encounter.

When dealing with a narcissist, it often feels like something is not quite right. Their behaviour seems unusual, slightly abnormal, or as though they are not fully present. They may even appear strange or foolish, but you might dismiss these feelings as a misunderstanding or misinterpretation. You might convince yourself that they have good qualities, that they possess what you feel is missing, or that they are not as deficient as they seem.

Despite your beliefs, you cannot connect with them. They lack the ability, interest, or concern to connect with you. They may display feelings of superiority, assertiveness, or even shyness, but they are not grounded. They cannot think beyond their own little world and are unaware of the impact their actions have on others.

Narcissists are closed-minded, resistant to new ideas or perspectives. It’s as though their innocence and curiosity have been destroyed, leaving them in a state of confusion and uncertainty. Their constant rumination on negative thoughts and feelings traps them in a cycle of emotional distress. The only relief they find is in dragging others into their misery—because misery loves company.

This is why they induce a paralytic effect in you. They slow you down, disorganise your thoughts, and consume your energy until you feel troubled, worried, and upset. They project their inner chaos onto you because that is what they live with every day.

Narcissists lack strength and stability. They are living in a mental hell, which becomes evident through their interactions with others. Initially, they may seem pleasant and friendly, even helpful. They might appear to have the strength to protect and support you. But this is an illusion.

Something happened to them long ago, and no one was there for them. This is why they now treat others however they choose, without remorse. It’s not because there is anything wrong with you. No matter how kind, giving, or loyal you are, they will see these traits as weaknesses to exploit.

You cannot control them or make them behave correctly. They will try to destroy you because they are trapped in their own darkness and want to pull you into it. They want you to deal with their problems because they cannot help themselves. They are victims of their own habits and the cause of their own downfall.

No matter what you do, you will never fully understand them. They don’t think or feel the way you do. This is why they study people closely, observing behaviours to learn how to present themselves. Initially, they may seem agreeable and pleasant, but once you get close, their true nature emerges, and your life begins to spiral out of control.

Their behaviour can lead to depression, addiction, or a loss of sanity. They disturb your mind and destroy the good in your life. This is because they are burning inside, consumed by the consequences of their actions. They try to bury their traumas and rely on manipulation to get what they want.

Eventually, they expose themselves, and you become a witness to their true nature. They will try to convince you that something is wrong with you, that your experiences are invalid, or that it’s all your fault. This is why it’s crucial to hold on to your sense of self.

You cannot help or fix them. The only way to win is to leave and go no contact. Once you leave and your life improves, they may return, making promises to change. But this is only to regain your attention and supply. They thrive on your interest because it allows them to escape their own reality temporarily.

To truly heal, you must avoid them at all costs. Don’t worry about what they are doing after you’ve gone. Focus on your own recovery and well-being. Letting go of them will lift the weight they’ve placed on you, allowing your life to improve significantly.

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