When The Narcissist LOSES CONTROL Of You, They Will Do This To TRAP YOU!

There was a time when you didn’t understand what was going on. You tried as much as you could to make things better, but it didn’t make any sense because nothing you did improved the situation. You were running endlessly on a hamster wheel, trying to please the narcissist, while they did everything they could to keep you trapped in this cycle. Instead of working with you towards a resolution where you could both find peace and happiness, they ensured you remained stuck. That’s when you realised something was very wrong—until you found my videos, and everything began to make sense. You finally understood that you were dealing with a narcissist.

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, they want you to give all your efforts while they twist the meaning of your actions. They remain vague and misleading, leaving you constantly trying to make sense of everything. You genuinely want the situation to improve, so you change everything about yourself to please them. Yet, no matter what you do, nothing changes—and it never will. Covert narcissists are master manipulators. They use devious means to exploit, control, and influence people for their own advantage. They will convince you that up is down and right is left. They aim to take you as far from reality as possible because reality works against them. It puts them at a disadvantage they cannot overcome.

Rather than doubting their perception, they want you to doubt your own. They specifically target people who lack self-trust, guidance, or direction because such individuals are easier to lead astray. Narcissists give you the wrong directions, causing you to act or think foolishly, leading to errors or wrongdoing. They make you believe things that aren’t true and encourage you to do things you shouldn’t. When something goes wrong, they focus the blame on you, and you, in turn, blame yourself. You may even accept that something is wrong with you and seek help, which might be how you found this information.

Now you know that no matter how wonderful a person you are, the narcissist will always project their traits onto you. They may even call you the narcissist. No matter how hard you try, things will never improve because they don’t want them to. Narcissists thrive on drama and chaos. The more chaos you feel, the better they feel. Conversely, the calmer you are, the more chaotic they feel. This is because they have a mental disorder, constantly experiencing significant disturbances in their cognition, emotional regulation, and behaviour. This is distressing for them, and the only way they can feel better is by creating chaos for you.

You keep trying to make the situation better, hoping they will understand and things will improve. You depend on them for change, not realising they don’t want things to get better. They are comfortable with their disorder because it protects them from seeing themselves as they truly are. It keeps them in a lower state of consciousness, ensuring they never change. They will continue to cause you suffering because your emotions are like air to a narcissist—they provide narcissistic supply. The more emotional you are, the better they feel. However, when they sense you’ve figured them out, their supply dwindles. They play dumb, acting as though they don’t know what they’ve done to upset you. They pretend not to understand why you would question their integrity. To them, their attitude, behaviour, and decisions haven’t affected you—it’s you who has affected them.

When you no longer believe in their false persona, they feel wronged by you, despite their bad behaviour. They will deny their actions, claim they don’t understand why you’re upset, and accuse you of being too sensitive or misunderstanding them. They will play on your empathy, expecting sympathy and compassion, while distorting the facts to suit their selective memory. They only remember what is favourable to them—whatever makes you look bad and them look good—rather than what actually happened. They paint you as a monster while portraying themselves as innocent and blameless, as someone who remained good and honest despite being betrayed by you.

It doesn’t matter what they’ve done to you; you will always be painted as the villain to anyone who will listen. If you try to fight back against their false narrative, they will gaslight you, causing you to doubt yourself. But you know you’re being gaslit because you remember what you saw and heard, what they said and did. When they realise they can’t gaslight you, their true nature and character are revealed. Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, they are fine as long as you follow their narrative. But when they struggle to control how you see them, their mask begins to slip. They become frustrated, expressing distress and annoyance at their inability to dominate and control you.

When this happens, the worst thing you can do is argue or try to defend yourself. Instead, hold on to your perspective and let them say what they want. If you give them enough rope, they will hang themselves. Allow them the freedom to act as they wish, and they will fail and expose who they truly are. This is why they work overtime to manipulate and control others’ perceptions of you. They spread lies and rumours behind your back, targeting people who are easily influenced. They may even brainwash their own children. As a result, you may experience poor behaviour from people you know or even strangers, despite having done nothing to provoke them. This is because the narcissist has been busy spreading falsehoods about you.

The greater your ability to detect who and what they are, the more severe their narcissistic injury will be. This often results in a smear campaign that can last for years. They paint you as everything they actually are. Although they may be toxic and abusive, you become the villain, and they play the victim. They lie, deny their actions, and label you as a fraud, a fake, a bully, or a manipulator. They may even claim you’re crazy and unfit to be around children. Meanwhile, they continue to enable and protect themselves, projecting their damage and destruction onto you.

When you notice their behaviour or threaten to expose them, they know they’ve lost control over you and your perception of them. This causes a narcissistic injury, leading them to rage and strike back. They aim to cause as much damage, pain, and trauma as possible. Narcissists do not exit quietly; they want to leave with a bang, ensuring everyone notices and talks about it. This allows them to blame you for the end of the relationship and tell everyone how bad you are. They see you as difficult, unpleasant, and rude for seeing them as they truly are, rather than how they want to be seen.

In their minds, you have no right to set reasonable standards, limits, or boundaries. You should accept their version of reality, remain motionless in toxic environments, and pretend there is no manipulation, dysfunction, or abuse. If you refuse, they see you as rude, inappropriate, and intrusive. Yet, they feel entitled to stalk you, both in person and on social media, looking for something to take offence at. Even if nothing was intended to upset them, they will take it personally, as though it affects them and no one else. This is what narcissists do—they are paranoid and hypersensitive to insults or criticism because they are always dishing it out. They are just waiting for someone to hit back.

Narcissists are defensive because they’ve done many bad things and are always looking over their shoulder, anxious about what you might do. They focus on labelling you as the issue to deflect attention from themselves. Sometimes, their paranoia becomes unbearable, leading them to hoover you back in with emotional manipulation. They sense you’re distancing yourself or have gone no-contact. When they do this, they’re trying to calm their nerves, as their shameful wrongdoings are always on their minds. They may even promise to change, but it’s all future-faking—it’s fake. They will never change because they lack empathy and conscience. They believe they are perfect and superior, with a strong sense of entitlement. They think they can do no wrong, and if anything goes wrong, they will blame you.

Narcissists will only feel sorry once you’ve moved on and they no longer have access to you. Even then, they won’t be sorry for what they did; they’ll only regret the consequences they now face. They will use this as a means to gain sympathy and attention. If they can’t persuade you, they will move on to another unsuspecting target, someone easier to manipulate and exploit. While this may not be good for the new target, it will bring you peace.

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