This ONE THING Makes A Narcissist Want To Destroy You

Initially, the narcissist will try to manipulate and control you. However, when they can't control you, this lack of control makes them want to destroy you. They may not destroy you immediately, but they will try to hurt you as a means of regaining their control. When they can't manipulate you, they become very frustrated, and this is when things can become very unpleasant. Narcissists thrive on control. They manipulate you to maintain their own self-esteem by keeping you trapped. However, when you see through their tactics and are no longer able to be controlled, they will want to destroy you.

They may achieve this through a smear campaign, spreading lies and rumours to control how others perceive you. Since they can no longer manipulate you or have access to you, they settle for people they can manipulate—those they view as gullible or easily influenced. Narcissists are skilled at finding individuals who lack critical thinking or discernment, allowing them to twist the truth and destroy your character. They want others to see you in a negative light, which is why people may view you as though you are not a good person. The narcissist plants seeds of doubt in people's minds, creating situations that ensure these perceptions develop.

Many people today are highly suggestible and do not use critical thinking. They accept and develop these ideas, often independently of the narcissist, because the seeds have already been planted. Narcissists do this because they are deeply insecure and seek control. They want the power to influence and direct people's behaviour and events, putting themselves in a dominant position where they feel powerful and successful. This behaviour is childish and immature, revealing that they must have a lot of time on their hands to play such games. They are motivated by their own malicious intentions, aiming to portray you as corrupt or evil while presenting themselves as superior. Their image and reputation are very important to them, so if yours is destroyed, it amuses them.

When a narcissist can no longer control you, they will gaslight you. They will distort your perception of reality, lie to you, betray you, and blame you for everything until you feel like you are losing your mind. This can be very confusing, especially if you have never thought of yourself in such a way before. They infiltrate your life and distort your perspective until you begin to doubt yourself, affecting your confidence. You may feel like a shell of who you used to be while they deny their actions and blame you for their behaviour. They want you to feel at fault, which is why they isolate you from friends and family. They don't want anyone to offer you a different perspective on what is happening. They want to be your only source of influence so they can control your perceptions.

Narcissists hide their abuse because they know it is wrong, but they feel no remorse. They don't care as long as they are getting what they need. They will continue to abuse you and discourage you from spending time with friends or family. They feel entitled to decide how you spend your time. They don't want you to be around people who might like you because they want to stop you from having a good time. They isolate you to regain control. While isolating you, they may give you affection and approval as another means of control. They use emotions as tools, giving and withdrawing them to keep you hooked. This leaves you walking on eggshells, careful not to offend or upset them. You can't understand their behaviour or predict their actions because it depends on their unstable emotional state.

This instability makes it impossible to connect with them. The person you thought you were connecting with a moment ago no longer exists because their emotions have changed. This creates a trauma bond, making it difficult for you to move on. Without closure, it is hard to understand what has happened, which is exactly how they want it. They want to keep you off balance, trapping you in a situation you never agreed to. Over time, they gradually change the conditions, distorting your sense of self and rendering your emotional control to them. This means you will never have a healthy relationship with them because they don't want you to govern yourself. They want to keep you stuck, preventing you from progressing and moving on.

Narcissists do not want a relationship; they want control. They want you to do everything they demand because they don't know how to have a relationship. They don't know how to bond with another person. Instead, they replay dynamics from their childhood, where they were never accepted for who they were. They had to fight for approval and validation. Now, they want to be on the other end of this dynamic, making someone else fight for their approval. This is what their parents did to them, and they don't know any other way to have a relationship.

There is nothing you can do to help them relate better to others. Their fixed behavioural patterns are a result of the abuse and trauma they suffered in childhood. They have built defence mechanisms to prevent such harm from happening again. They have learned that people will take any opportunity to harm them, which has created a false self—a substitute ego. This false self drives them to harm others because their brain circuits became mis-wired during development. This has become their way of seeking validation and recognition. They will never give anything back; it will always be one-sided. They have an external locus of control, believing they cannot change their situation through their own efforts. This stems from their inability to change the abusive dynamics of their childhood. They had nowhere to go, which is why they now blame outside forces for their circumstances. They often feel hopeless and powerless in difficult situations.

As a result, they seek validation and expect you to meet their needs. However, no matter what you give or do for them, it will never be enough. Their unmet emotional needs from childhood mean that you cannot make a relationship work with a narcissist.

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