This Is How The Narcissist DECEIVES You

They deliberately cause you to believe something that is not true for their own personal gain. They give you a mistaken impression and sometimes they may even fail to admit to themselves that something is true. They may even be in denial, but regardless of that, they manage to drive this illusion with eagerness and enthusiasm as though they suddenly had this awakening, and it's the only thing that matters to them.

They act as though they want to do or have something very much, moved by their strong and urgent desire or interest, when their motive is actually very different from what you might expect. It's not because they've had a change of heart or because they've suddenly realized the errors of their ways. The illusion may be something that originated in their minds or it may just be a reflection of your own ideas or ideals. Either way, the illusion is still powered by you and not them. It's like an illusion within an illusion.

Although it may appear that they are directing your behavior and the course of events, you are unknowingly influencing them. That is the true illusion powered by you. You are the source of its energy, making it come to life, making it real. The basic feature of the illusion is to portray the narcissist in the best possible way. It's intended to make them look good because that is the typical example they present in order to manipulate you. But it's not an unchanging factor or situation; it's not continuous, persistent, or sustained. Whether it's present or not is determined by the pressure to sustain it, which means that the force driving is not always present. It depends on the people around them; it requires energy for it to come to life.

It's like if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it even make a sound? This should reveal to you what is happening with them beneath the surface. The illusion can fall apart if there isn't enough influence exerted by a group or society on them to comply with particular norms or behaviors. It's really just this desire they have to manipulate the people around them, and that is why they often seem so eager and enthusiastic. It's driven by what other people are seeing and thinking; it's not generated from within, it's not self-sustaining, it's dependent on external circumstances and people. That is what supports the illusion.

If there aren't any people around, it isn't going to work. You will notice that if there's no one around and you're still tied to the narcissist, they act very out of control, foolishly, and unwise. But even that can fall apart if the necessary pressure is not there. There has to be people who are watching and observing the illusion. There has to be people who are tied to them and waiting for something to happen. Otherwise, there is a very different side to the narcissist when they're at home on their own, when no one else is around. That is something most people will be unaware of because you're only going to know what the narcissist is like when people are around them, when they have an audience, or when they're reacting to something. But when they are truly alone, if you could be a fly on the wall, that is when you would witness the true depths of the disorder.

Because that is when they're actually experiencing a lot of anxiety and depression which is very different to what you might normally see. In that moment, they feel completely worthless and insignificant as though no one wants or even desires to be around them. They experience narcissistic collapse and they may become very irritable because the isolation is threatening their ability to maintain their superficial inflated ego as there's no one to validate the illusion. So they have to quickly establish an arrangement with a new or past source of supply.

Following a collapse, they will desire positive attention and admiration, but if that is not available to them for whatever reason, they will settle for negative sources which will result in intense reactions and abuse towards other people. But during that time when they're waiting to acquire new sources and they're completely alone, they have no ability to manipulate or control anyone because the conditions are not present for them to do that. Which is why it's almost like they're in this moment of desperation where they will do anything just to get that back.

By that point, the illusion has completely broken down so they may start to lose interest in maintaining their health or their house because it's not what people are seeing. There's no emotional pressure for them to maintain it; it's no longer fueling the illusion. Which means that they will devote their time and energy to other things so that they can look good because the other stuff that they used to be concerned with is no longer a factor. They really don't have any values or beliefs of their own; their activity depends on who's around. That's what depends on what they're doing so that they can fool and manipulate those people.

So what they're really seeking is escapism and denial. And when that is present in the way that they would like, they can quite easily separate and dissociate themselves from the things that they're supposed to care about and pretend like it's not even there. They are master manipulators and liars, but they actually believe in a lot of the core ideas and fantasies that they push onto you. They can become very attached to it even if it's just in the moment to where they don't even see that the illusion is falling apart because all they're concerned about is supply.

In that moment, they're just looking for emotional support so that they can prop up their desired character of them being a great person. Which means that they can do or be anything as long as people are giving them feedback that they're a powerful or important person. Even if it's something very strange or unusual or something that they would not normally do, they would still do it because they're not really concerned about what they're doing; they just want the feedback, the validation.

Which is why sometimes they might be doing good things but then other times they're not doing anything good. They're not producing anything; they're not helping anyone, especially not continually. Because although it may seem like they have a foundation of functional behavior, they can quickly forget about all of that if the right situation or opportunity presents itself to them on their terms or under certain conditions. Because there is another side of them that you don't see when you're not there and it can be worrying and concerning, but it's very unlikely that you would ever see it because it depends on the absence of any sources of feedback or validation. But if you could see it, it would be quite surprising and it would most definitely aid your defense against them.

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