The Person Closest To A Narcissist Gets Treated THE WORST

In a healthy romantic relationship, your partner will treat you as the most important person in their life. They will prioritize you, consider your needs and feelings, and treat you as their primary priority. This is because they are committed to a long-term relationship with you, which should foster closeness and emotional intimacy. They should have a feeling of love and strong attraction towards you.

However, this doesn't happen with narcissists. They treat the people closest to them the worst. It's as if they are punishing you for loving them and being close to them, as though you're doing something wrong. But this behavior stems from their personality disorder. You are seeing the real version of them, while everyone else sees the fake version. You don't know what you did wrong, yet they treat you like you're worthless, unlike everyone else.

When they are involved with other people, they wear a mask and act normally and appropriately. This will confuse you and make you wonder why they can't treat you the same way. They take the mask off and act foolishly with you, taking things out on you. This is just how it is when you're dealing with a narcissist. You get punished for loving them because they feel most comfortable around you, so you get the real version of them. You get treated the worst.

Narcissists also need to keep you under their control. They keep you at arm's length because you have the ability to expose them. You could reveal to everyone what they are really like, and being exposed is one of their greatest fears. So, of course, they can't let you know too much or see too much because they are very distrustful and fear that you might expose them for who they really are.

When you are in an intimate relationship with a narcissist, you will get treated the worst, and it will frustrate you. You know they have the potential to treat someone well, and you remember how they treated you in the beginning. They treated you better than everyone else, put you first, and made you their main priority. They went all out for you, putting all their energy and enthusiasm into you because they were love bombing and idealizing you. In that moment, you were the center of their world, which is why they were always trying to be there for you. But it was short-lived. It only lasted for a short period because they felt like they had you trapped and knew you weren't going anywhere. So, you lost value in their eyes.

In their minds, if you're so great, then what are you doing with them? They know they are full of it and not about anything. So, if you're so valuable and special, why are you involved with them? That's how they see it. You begin to lose value in their eyes, especially if you have children together or have made future plans. They know you're not going anywhere, so they feel more comfortable around you and no longer value you. They feel like they can treat you however they choose because they believe they have power over you and that you're under their control. They don't feel like they have to do anything to keep you around.

Meanwhile, they put everyone else on a pedestal, respecting and admiring other people, especially those who are not part of their lives. They know they've already got you and that you're not going anywhere, so there's no incentive for them to treat you any better. This will frustrate you because you know they have the potential to treat you well, but this is just how they operate. It's how their personality disorder functions.

The narcissist will abuse you behind closed doors and in private to maintain their deceptive outward appearance. To everyone else, they seem kind and polite. By doing this, it makes it look like you're the problem because you're the only one complaining about them. No one else sees what they're doing wrong, making it easier for them to get new supply. They can still get attention and admiration from other people who are under their spell, which means they won't interact with you as much, especially since you already know what they're like. It wouldn't do much for them because you're not under their spell; you know who they really are underneath the mask.

They are also talking about you behind your back, engaging in a smear campaign to make you look bad. This makes you look crazy if you try to tell anyone about it because everyone else sees the false image. They see the good side of the narcissist, which keeps everything under their control. They have you under their control by keeping the abuse hidden, and they also have everyone else under their control by maintaining their false image. They feel powerful and special when they tear you down and treat you poorly. It boosts their ego, makes them feel superior, important, and better about themselves.

When you are dealing with a narcissist, you will go from being gold to garbage overnight. This happens because you're human, you question things, and you realize that something isn't right. They need constant entertainment and get bored very easily, so they are always looking for the next shiny new toy. They think the grass is greener on the other side, so they put you on the shelf and forget about you. You will find that you're arguing more and more often, and they will be looking for excuses to take a break or give you the silent treatment because they are busy working on their new target or are already involved with someone else.

This is when you will see even more hot and cold behavior because now they don't need you. They've already got someone else lined up, so by this point, communication will be less than ever before. If you are still communicating with them, you will just be fighting because they are already preparing for their new supply and are about to advance them to the primary position. But at some point, they will get bored of them just like they got bored of you, and then they will be looking for someone else. That is when they may try to come back to you, but even if they do, you will still get the same treatment as before because there is no incentive for them to act right. They don't need to. They can still treat you poorly while receiving positive attention from other people because they only show the real version of themselves to you.