The FATE Of The Narcissist's Flying Monkeys

Flying monkeys are individuals who act on behalf of the narcissist, doing their bidding. When you set boundaries with a narcissist, they often send in their flying monkeys to do their dirty work. These individuals may appear to be trying to help you and the narcissist, but their true purpose is to further gaslight, trick, guilt-trip, and manipulate you.

You can recognise a flying monkey by their unwavering support for the narcissist, regardless of the situation or evidence presented. They spread rumours and gossip about you, invalidate or dismiss your feelings, and pass on information to help the narcissist harass you. Narcissists groom their flying monkeys, flipping the narrative to make others believe they are the victims, when in reality, they are the abusers.

Some flying monkeys may be narcissists themselves, while others are people-pleasers who fear disappointing the narcissist. They may have been manipulated or coerced into submission, fearing they will become the next target if they resist. Others may lack the emotional intelligence or empathy to understand the harm they are causing. Some genuinely believe the narcissist’s perspective, having absorbed their manipulative narrative.

Many flying monkeys are likely to be struggling with their own issues, such as anxiety or other conditions, which make them more susceptible to the narcissist’s influence. They may believe there is something to gain, such as money, power, or the hope of surpassing the narcissist in the future. For people-pleasers, becoming a flying monkey may provide a sense of meaning and purpose.

Narcissists often make secret plans with their flying monkeys to commit harmful or unlawful acts. They conspire to create events or circumstances that bring about negative outcomes for their target. This collaboration often begins with gossip and backbiting, where they spread malicious rumours and make false or exaggerated statements about your private life.

Flying monkeys will never reveal these secret plans to your face. They are cowards, hiding behind a façade of friendliness while conspiring against you. They may smile in your face and act as though everything is fine, all the while working to manipulate and regain control over you. This behaviour stems from the narcissist’s fear of abandonment and their need to maintain a positive image.

Eventually, the narcissist’s schemes backfire. When the relationship ends—whether they discard you or you cut them off—the narcissist often turns on their flying monkeys. The narcissist blames them for everything that went wrong, refusing to take accountability for their own actions. This leads to constant arguments and chaos within the narcissist’s circle.

Flying monkeys, lacking the strength of character to stand up to the narcissist, are left to deal with the fallout. They cannot defy or resist the narcissist, as they are too deeply entrenched in their manipulative dynamic. The narcissist, seeing them as ordinary and replaceable, uses them only as tools to gain fuel from their primary target—you.

Despite the narcissist’s manipulations, justice has a way of prevailing. The narcissist’s inability to maintain genuine relationships and their constant need for control ultimately lead to their own downfall. While you move on with your life, the narcissist and their flying monkeys are left to deal with the chaos they created.

Remember, the narcissist’s obsession with you stems from the unique qualities you possess—qualities they could never replicate. You left an indelible mark on their lives, and they will never experience the same connection with anyone else. This is why they smear your name and obsess over you, even after you are no longer in their lives.

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