People Narcissists CANNOT Tolerate

Narcissists cannot be around healthy people or functional behaviour for a long period of time. A healthy person is one who is in a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being. Some examples of this may be a person who doesn't drink alcohol or smoke, is at a healthy weight, and eats a balanced diet. They think in a positive way, express optimism, agreement, and acceptance, and are happy and comfortable because nothing is worrying them. That's what a healthy person is.

As for functional social behaviour, that would include healthy communication, cooperation, tolerance, acceptance, respect, empathy, loyalty, love, play, and humour, which are all things we should encourage and promote in our society. But these are all things that narcissists cannot tolerate. They cannot allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of these behaviours without interference because it repulses them. It makes them feel sick because they are anything but normal or functional.

A normal, functional person can process and communicate their emotions effectively because they acknowledge their feelings and share them with each other. This means they both recognize and accept how each other feels, which is normal, good, and healthy. But to the narcissist, it may be something they see as a disturbance or problem because it's something they can't do. They can't be around healthy people for a long period of time. They can for a short time as long as they're able to manipulate and control them. Otherwise, people are quickly going to detect what is wrong with the narcissist. Even if they don't already know what is wrong, they will intuitively know because information is always being conveyed. They will feel muscle tightness in their solar plexus area or in their guts, and they may experience stomach nausea or sweaty palms because at some point they will sense that they're dealing with an empty shell.

Avoid someone who likes to control everyone and everything around them, someone who needs things to go their way, which is an impossible situation. Things cannot develop or progress with a narcissist. People just end up being sucked into the void and then feel drained and lifeless by the end of it because narcissists have no respect for people's free will. This is why when people are interacting with them, they may have difficulty breathing, freeze, or feel like movement is difficult or not possible, as though something is preventing or inhibiting their occurrence or development. This is exactly what narcissists do. They suffocate people, make them feel trapped and oppressed to where people can't even be themselves. Even if you're just at peace with yourself and minding your own business, they will manipulate and gaslight you to make you angry or upset because they just can't be around normal, healthy people.

Narcissists are full of counterproductive tension. Deep down, they feel inadequate and full of shame. They try to suppress it, but it then comes out in their inappropriate behaviors because they're more damaged and afraid than their own victims. It's just that they're better at hiding it. Or they will find a way to pass that energy onto someone else and make them identify with it. They are shame-based people who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame, which means they are constantly disowning parts of themselves that they don't like and assigning them to other people. So they really have no true identity or self of their own. They just bits and pieces of whatever they've picked up from other people. When people are interacting with them, they will often detect it. They will feel like they're being sucked into a black hole or as though they're sinking in quicksand.

But narcissists are also instinctive and will recognise when they can't get anything from certain people because they're usually quite good at investigating and examining who is going to be a suitable candidate for abuse. It's determined by who they think they're going to be able to control because that's all they're really trying to do. They need to have someone who they can control at all times, someone who is under their influence and within their possession, which they can then use as a standard for comparison. They determine and supervise their behaviour to learn what makes them tick, what they like and dislike, their feelings, opinions, and concerns, so they can then have the power to influence and direct their targets' behaviour and the course of events, keeping them in a constant state of reactivity. This validates the narcissist's illusions of themselves being all-knowing, all-powerful, and the source of all moral authority. They're pretty much just seeking out someone who will make them feel like a god. If they don't get that, then in their minds something is wrong.

They can cope with it for a short period of time, although they really don't like it when people are not willing to put up with them because it's not something they're used to. Narcissists usually hold the power in any given situation, and people change themselves and bend over backwards to please them. So when someone doesn't do that, it really catches them off guard because it's not something they're used to. If they're in a public setting, they may just bite their tongue and then take it out on their nearest and dearest when they get home.

Free speech or freedom of expression, where people are open with each other, cannot exist around the narcissist. No one can express their opinions without censorship or restraint or without deleting certain parts of it. So there is no freedom or empowerment in that type of environment. In fact, it just imprisons people in a state of weakness and low self-esteem because they are made to feel like they're not good enough to control their own lives or to claim their own rights, as though they have to be told what to say or what to do. This means that any open communication is destroyed because the narcissist specifically targets enablers who lack the potential to prevent them from destroying it. This then gives them the ability to remove anything that is functional that they don't like, such as personal boundaries and privacy. Without that, it prevents you from becoming the captain of your own ship or from leading your own life. Instead, it puts the narcissist in the driving seat to where they can easily manipulate and abuse you and get you to bend to their will. They will force or persuade you to do what they want or to accept their opinions, which they will blame you for at a later date because they don't really care about anything other than being able to access you and mess with you.

There can't be any rules, and they can't be held accountable for anything or obligated to do anything because otherwise they can't get their supply. You will find that the more supply they get from you, the more it begins to affect your self-esteem. While the better you feel, the worse off they feel. If you feel good, they feel bad because that means they have less control. If they're able to manipulate and control the environment, there's going to be a lot of negativity, drama, and chaos because they're going to be hurting people for their own benefit. They are trying to maintain control over their subordinates and opponents by encouraging disagreement and difference of opinion between them to prevent them from uniting in opposition against the narcissist. That is the last thing they want. They wouldn't know what to do if that ever happened because everything they're trying to avoid or destroy is functional and harmonious relationships where people are connected, feel, and behave in a respectful and appropriate way towards each other. They can change, grow, and effectively deal with problems, which is something that you can do but they can't. They fear that you're just going to better yourself and leave them behind. They are terrified of you growing, changing, and improving yourself because that then proves to everyone that something is terribly wrong with them. It would be the only possible conclusion, and that is what scares them.

But when you realize this, everything starts to make sense because it explains everything. It explains every decision they make with you and other people. It's why they must avoid and destroy functional behavior because it's the only way they can grow and develop successfully. It's the only way they can maintain the illusion because the illusion has nothing to do with the truth, understanding, or cooperation. It has nothing to do with love. It is against that, but it has to maintain the facade in order for it to survive and fool people. At the same time, it's actually doing the exact opposite because it's nothing more than a combination of ideas and features that are opposed to one another. It really doesn't make any sense because it's inconsistent. It's a statement of possession that is opposite to one which was already made. They already know that something is seriously wrong with them. That's why they hide it and present a facade because they're trying to look normal. They continue to thrive in an environment that is dysfunctional, an environment where nothing can grow or develop. But then that's exactly how they want it because they're not normal. They are dysfunctional. So of course they are quite comfortable with the way things are. They don't want anything to change because if the environment was healthy and normal, they would be unable to survive. You would see them act out all the time because they're uncomfortable with anything normal. They can't stand it. It just reminds them that it is them. It tells them that they are the problem, and they'd rather just be in denial and live a fake life.

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