NEVER Do This With A Narcissist

There are certain things you should never do with a narcissist. While you can engage in these behaviours with people who are not narcissists, once someone has proven themselves untrustworthy, you must handle them differently. Failing to do so will often leave you in undesirable situations.

Disagreements with narcissists are inevitable, and you will frequently find yourself solving problems they have caused. You may attempt to reach agreements or compromises, but the reality is that narcissists will not adhere to the conditions set. They may agree to terms and act as though they understand and accept them, but they have no intention of fulfilling their obligations.

Narcissists do not play by the rules. Whether these are rules you’ve set together, legal requirements, or societal norms, they view rules as something for the gullible and weak-minded. They may pretend to respect rules to keep you compliant, but their true aim is to gain an advantage. This is why negotiating or compromising with a narcissist is futile—they will not honour the agreement.

Narcissists will often pretend to cooperate to manipulate situations to their advantage. They want you to uphold your end of the bargain while they secretly disregard theirs. This deceptive behaviour allows them to maintain control and stay ahead of you. They may appear moral and law-abiding, even expressing disapproval of others’ unethical behaviour, but this is merely a façade to lower your defences.

Their dishonesty is deeply ingrained. Narcissists derive a thrill from deceiving others, and this emotional boost can lead them to repeat their lies, even when there is no tangible reward. The act of getting away with something gives them a sense of superiority and temporarily relieves their feelings of shame.

Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They study their targets, learning how to exploit weaknesses and push boundaries. Even if you have strong boundaries, they will test them, gradually applying pressure to see if they can break through. If you remain firm, they may eventually give up, but not without trying to change your perspective or undermine your confidence.

They prefer individuals who lack confidence, overthink, or are easily distracted. Such traits make it easier for them to create confusion and exert control. Narcissists thrive on chaos and emotional reactivity, which is why they avoid people with strong, healthy boundaries.

When dealing with a narcissist, any agreement or compromise is likely to be broken. They will look for loopholes or weak points to exploit, as they lack integrity and moral principles. Narcissists will only follow rules or agreements if they believe they cannot get away with breaking them. Otherwise, they will do whatever benefits them, regardless of the consequences for others.

Their behaviour stems from deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. They view rules as obstacles to their power and control, which is why they disregard them. Narcissists are unwilling to reflect on their own shortcomings or consider self-improvement, making it impossible for them to act with honesty, fairness, or decency.

You cannot negotiate or compromise with a narcissist. Their lack of integrity and disregard for rules make them untrustworthy in any agreement. Protect yourself by setting firm boundaries and recognising their manipulative tactics. Remember, their actions are driven by their own insecurities and need for control, not by any genuine desire to cooperate or compromise.

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