Narcissists Do THIS When You're Not There

You're in a relationship with a narcissist, but they're not the obsessive type. They're not particularly possessive or controlling, nor are they overly concerned about where you are or what you're doing. This is because they are entertaining other prospects. To them, people are for recreational use—amusement or fun—rather than for serious or practical purposes.

Narcissists are often attracted to other narcissists. Their friends and other sources of supply are likely to be narcissists as well, equally toxic. This is typically what they are involved in when you're not around. Perhaps they got with you by chance—maybe you were bored or lonely, worked at the same job, or felt sorry for them and decided to give them another chance.

Narcissists are drawn to others like themselves because they share similar personalities and interests. While they may appear to be having a great time without you, it's often a toxic situation. Initially, they may manipulate and love-bomb each other, creating the illusion of a connection. However, this connection is false, as neither has a true identity. They mirror each other's feelings, interests, and behaviours to fabricate a bond, but it lacks authenticity. This makes for unhealthy relationships or friendships, as neither can feel empathy or offer genuine love. Despite this, they find comfort in their shared toxicity, as they can understand each other in ways you never could.

You may have disapproved of their toxic behaviours—lying, cheating, or stealing—but other narcissists won't mind. In fact, they may bond over such actions, finding them thrilling. They couldn't get away with these behaviours with you because you didn't tolerate them. When you're not around, they may run off to their narcissistic friends or other sources of supply, hiding things and cheating on each other. Despite their inability to trust one another, they are still drawn together.

You might wonder why you don't hear from them or why they're never there. Often, it's because they have other sources of supply who are also narcissists. They feel more comfortable around these individuals, believing they get along better because they are alike. Their toxic nature draws them together, and they may even team up against you. This is a common pattern—they leave you for someone worse and then collaborate with that person to harass you. Both are envious and jealous of you, so they work together to bring you down.

This is why you need to be cautious. When you're not there, they may be entertaining other sources of supply or spending time with their narcissistic friends. They might talk about you behind your back, fostering feelings of hatred and resentment towards you. Before you know it, you could find yourself targeted by a group of narcissists, all because you got involved with one of them.

Narcissists are dangerous people to be involved with because you never know who else they are dealing with. They bring their problems into your life when all you were looking for was a relationship. What starts as a simple connection can spiral out of control, leaving you overwhelmed and unsure of what you wanted in the first place. Suddenly, you have a group of narcissists targeting you, which is far from what you ever intended.

This often happens without your knowledge or awareness until your life is turned upside down. Narcissists are like cockroaches—where you find one, there are always more. They share similar backgrounds and stories. While it may seem like the narcissist wants to be alone, they actually hate being alone. They can't stand their own company, even for a day, as it would drive them insane. They need narcissistic supply—attention from others, people to impress, and people to deceive. One person is never enough to fulfil their needs.

After spending a certain amount of time with you, they grow bored and lose interest. They begin to take you for granted because you're always there, always available. To them, you're no different from an appliance in the home—like an old iPhone they want to replace with the latest version. When you're not there, they're out looking for something new. Being with you no longer gives them the same buzz or excitement it once did.

Every source of supply has an expiry date. As time goes on, your supply becomes less potent, and they grow worse—more abusive and distant. They spend less time with you because they're getting supply elsewhere. Eventually, they may end the relationship entirely, withdrawing all communication. Alternatively, they may become offensive and bad-mannered to push you away because they're bored of you. The relationship has become stale, dull, and predictable to them.

This is why they start arguments for no reason and blame you for everything. They want space to engage in new and more interesting activities. They won't openly admit this because they don't want you to know what they're doing behind your back. Instead, they seek to impress new people—those who don't yet know their true nature. They can't get the same type of supply from people who already know who they are.

Now that you've figured them out, they can't get the same thrill from you. They seek someone new, someone they haven't manipulated before, because it has a more powerful effect on them. They crave that initial spark, the excitement of the love-bombing phase. Even if they team up with someone to bond over your destruction, it makes them feel something. Their insecurity drives their need for constant attention.

They may also use their behaviour to punish you. Perhaps you confronted them or said something they found offensive, and now they want revenge. They might indulge in addictions like alcohol, drugs, shopping, or gambling to distract themselves from unpleasant realities. While engaging in these unhealthy behaviours, they may also be preparing to replace you. However, they might keep you around if they're still benefiting from the relationship.

In the meantime, they leave you doubting yourself and feeling uncertain in a situation outside your control. There is no progress or improvement because they're keeping you at bay, under control, to prevent you from interfering with their plans. They may make excuses, but in reality, they're grooming their new supply, advancing them to the primary position to replace you.

The longer you stay with a narcissist, the more they see you as a problem—an inconvenience. They want to spend as much time away from you as possible because you're just a means to an end. You're expendable. As long as they're benefiting from being with you, they'll keep you around, but not because they care about you or want a future with you. They don't want love or a relationship; they want someone to serve their needs.

Narcissists are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They only care about themselves, which is why they behave dishonestly and indulge in their addictions. They hate themselves and their own company, so they seek distractions. At one point, that distraction may have been you, but now they're bored. They're seeking a new thrill, something to excite them, because they can't get that from you anymore.

When they say they want to be alone, they really mean they want to be away from you. They've learned you, and they know you've figured them out, which makes you boring to them.

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