Narcissists Are Fearful. Narcissists are very fearful people, they experience fear and anxiety. This is why they do a lot of the things that they do. They develop coping and defense mechanisms to deal with their fear and anxiety, regarding the potential consequences of their actions. Narcissists are always trying to dodge responsibility. They don't want to be held accountable for their actions.
They don't want to deal with responsibility, they don't want to respond to the best of their ability. Because then that could reveal where they were at fault or mistake that they have made. They are dodging the feeling of failure or loss. This feeling of failure or loss dictates their actions and behaviors. They are going to do everything they can to avoid experiencing those feelings. The narcissist orchestrates the situation in a way where they cannot be held responsible. This is to avoid any accountability for their actions. They will project, deny, blame shift and gaslight.
Anything to avoid being held accountable for their actions and behaviors, their faults or mistakes. This is something they have created in their minds, where if they don't acknowledge what they have done wrong, they don't have to be held accountable. They have detached themselves from reality, where people accept or admit when they have done something wrong. They believe that they can deny it, shift the blame on to someone else or sow seeds of doubt into the minds of whoever is confronting them, getting them to question, memory and even their sanity.
Furthermore, they believe that as long as they never admit to what they have done, they will never be held accountable, and they won't have to do deal with the feeling of failure or loss. The narcissist will twist and distort meanings and purposely misinterpret things as a coping mechanism. They don't want to deal with reality, they don't want to accept the truth of the situation. Especially when the truth is against them or if it is too painful to accept. They twist and distort meanings and create their own interpretations as a way of dodging their feelings of shame, embarrassment or disappointment.
They want everything to go their way, to the point where they will ignore or not even consider anything that goes against a narrative that is more beneficial or favorable for them. Dealing with feelings of shame, awkwardness or embarrassment is far more painful for a narcissist than a normal person. This is why they will do whatever they can to avoid experiencing these feelings. They will twist and distort meanings, purposely misinterpret or create their own meanings and interpretations. They will have an obsessive need to control the situation and the environment, so that everything will go their way.
This is why they will cheat, lie and steal. This is why they always have to be ten steps ahead of you, or they always have to gain an advantage of you. They always have to orchestrate and control the situation, where it becomes less beneficial or less favorable for you. They have to do all of this because they expect to lose. Not only that, but they know your capabilities, they know your potential. That's why their lives often revolve around managing your capabilities and potential.
Placing limitations or restrictions on you, a handicap. Managing and controlling, because in their minds they believe that you have an unfair advantage. The narcissist very weak, because they spend most of their time controlling the situation, limiting and restricting people, rather than doing any work to improve themselves. They neglect personal development and tend to focus on manipulation or deception. They believe that even if they did work on themselves it would never be enough for them to be a worthy competitor.
That's why they choose to neglect themselves and instead focus on controlling the people around them, placing limitations and restrictions on them. The narcissist has a weak character. A person with a strong character can accept the truth and deal with reality, without needing to control or manipulate the situation. The narcissist cannot do this, they depend on their manipulation like a crutch. They always have to control or manipulate the situation, because they're afraid.
They are afraid of the potential consequences which could occur if they did not control or manipulation. Their control or manipulation is designed to prevent harm, someone taking advantage of them or something more beneficial or favorable for someone else, rather than them. Many of them do not have the capabilities or potential to achieve what they really want. Yet they have to look at other people achieving their goals. And while it may be difficult for the narcissist, other people make it look easy to them.
They don't want to go through the process, they don't want to endure the struggles or hardship. This is why they cheat, lie and steal. They're weak and lazy, yet they look at other people who achieve what they want and feel a sense of entitlement without putting the work in. Like a child, they believe that they are worthy or deserving just because they think it in their minds. They believe that their needs are the only thing that matters, and the world should revolve around them.
They only observe the finished product of what other people have achieved and then feel as though it is unjust or unfair. Likewise, they don't want to go through the process, or the struggles and hardship like everyone else does. They take shortcuts because they believe that they are worthy and deserving of whatever they want, without putting the work in. They cut so many corners in life, where it ends up creating a circle. Where they are just doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result.
Just going around in circles, never achieving anything of real value or significance. The narcissist doesn't believe that they are good enough to play fairly. They don't believe that they can compete without controlling or manipulating the outcome. This is why they have all of these tricks and lies. They don't believe that they can win, they expect to lose. That's why they have all of this control and manipulation.
It's risk management, it's designed to reduce the risk of them losing. It's designed to manage the risk of them feeling dissatisfied. A normal person does not need to cheat, lie or steal. They do not need to control or manipulate the outcome. They do not need to deceive. Furthermore, they might expect or try to win and if they lose, they will be able to accept it. They might return to working on themselves or improving their abilities, and then try to win some other time. That is a winner's mentality.
The narcissist does not have a winner's mentality, they have the mind of a loser. They already expect to lose. This is why they cheat, lie or steal. This is why they need to control or manipulate the outcome. This is why they have to deceive. Because they have a loser's mentality, they already expect to lose. They are satisfied with not responding to the best of their ability. They are satisfied with not giving the best of their effort. This is why they always get the same results.
They are creating a loser's mentality. They are satisfied with losing. Not only that, but they are satisfied with resorting to cheating, lying or stealing... as long as they get a little bit of what they were trying to get. They might have lost, but they see it as winning, because they never put in all of their effort. They never made themselves vulnerable or really gave everything to try and make it work. Furthermore, they see it as winning, but they never actually establish anything meaningful or significant. Because they would rather settle for a loss, if it means that they can avoid the possibility of feeling dissatisfied.
A lot of their fears are based on feelings of shame, embarrassment or disappointment. They will do whatever they can to avoid reflecting on these feelings. They create coping mechanisms to avoid reflecting on them. But the feelings are still there, dictating their actions and behaviors.