How To Smartly Deal With A Narcissist

Up until this point, you've acted friendly and agreeable with the narcissist. You've played by the rules and followed what you believe to be the correct line of behaviour. You've dealt fairly and honestly with them because you were taught that this is the correct way for people to behave in society; it's how you were raised. However, you can't do that around narcissists because they will only take advantage of it. They will use your honesty and kindness to exploit you.

Narcissists are never going to act sensibly or behave like emotionally mature adults because they are used to dysfunctional environments. That's their playground, so they will never deal with you in a more delicate or sensitive way. They have a mental disorder, so they cannot feel comfortable in a structured environment. It's too demanding for them. They need chaos to function. They create an environment of confusion and disorganization to witness your discomfort and distress, distracting themselves from their own issues.

There will never be any adaptations or adjustments from them. Their disorder is maladaptive, meaning they are unable to adjust appropriately to environments or situations. They don't care about anything but themselves, so they are not concerned about how their behaviour affects you. They don't have your best interest in mind. In fact, they view you as their enemy, their opposition.

This behaviour isn't exclusive to narcissists. When a person only cares about themselves, there are no friends, no genuine relationships. They are completely selfish, lacking consideration for everyone else. They only think of their own advantage and what they can personally gain, regardless of how it affects others. While they may create the appearance of caring for someone, it makes no difference to them. Some may have a savior complex or white knight syndrome, pretending to act righteously in the interest of others. These are known as communal narcissists. Even then, they don't truly care. They may brag about their service and good deeds, but if you look deeper, you'll find no support for their claims. Their true aim is not to help others but to be seen as helpful, as it gives them narcissistic supply and makes them feel important.

The truth is, they don't care about anyone but themselves. If you're not of any use to them, you don't exist. This can be a huge blow to your self-esteem because you're only acknowledged if you perform. Even then, they focus on how your performance benefits them, not on your individuality or who you are as a person. They don't care about that; it means nothing to them. They manipulate you to get something out of the situation. All they do is take. They're leeches, bottom feeders. They're not there for you; they're only there for their own personal gain.

When you deal fairly and honestly with them, giving them attention and respect, you're putting yourself in a bad position. They have no respect for you, even if they don't show it openly. They know that you know who they are and what they're capable of. It's like giving a thief the keys to your home and not expecting them to steal anything. It's dangerous to interact with them because treating them like a normal person opens you up to being exploited. You may have seen this earlier in the relationship, as they typically start by doing it to others to test the waters. Before you know it, they're doing it to you.

They never restrict themselves from certain people. If they manipulated, lied, or cheated to get with you, soon enough, they'll do it to you. They've already shown they're capable of it, and if it worked for them in the past, why would they stop? They'll keep doing it. They may change people, but their behaviours stay the same. They're very selfish and only care about themselves. You can expect conflict at some point, which is why you cannot cooperate with them. It will only set you up to be taken advantage of. If you've seen them engage in lying or manipulative behaviours, whether to you or someone else, it's only going to get worse and affect you.

It makes no sense to hold a favourable opinion or judgment of them when you know what they're capable of. You have to minimize your contact as much as possible. Any attention or favours you give them will put you at risk of being exploited. Society has become a playground for manipulative and abusive people. We have to change the way we operate. We can't be so friendly and accommodating with everyone like we used to be. The world is different now. There used to be a time when we didn't have alarms in our homes, when we could leave our doors open without fear of being burgled, and women could walk down the street at night without fear of being raped. Now, every time you watch the news, there's another rape allegation or burglary. The world has become a very dangerous place. We need to protect ourselves and stay out of harm's way because you never know what these people might do to you.

We will continue to be singled out for cruel and unjust treatment, which is why you cannot deal fairly and honestly with them. It will only leave you with the short end of the stick. They will see your kindness as a weakness, seeing you as gullible and naive. They will use you for all you're worth and not feel bad about it. They have no conscience, no inner sense of right or wrong. As long as they can get away with it, they don't care. In their minds, you deserve it for dealing with them. They already know they're no good, and if you don't know that, then it's on you. You deserve everything you get. This is why they feel the right to take advantage of you. When dealing with a narcissist, there is no fairness, no rules. They're not looking out for you or anyone else. They only care about themselves.

This is what the world has become. Whether you're dealing with a narcissist or not, you might treat a person a certain way, but you can no longer expect them to do the same for you. People aren't looking out for each other like they used to. It's every man for himself. People are only concerned with their own interests rather than the needs of others. The old quote about treating others the way you want to be treated doesn't work anymore. Doing that will set you up to be used and exploited because they'll see you as a fool.

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