How Narcissists REACT When You Move On

You've moved on. You're happier now. You've met someone else, and that is something they cannot deal with, even if they already have someone. Because now, you've moved on, and they're no longer relevant. They're no longer significant or important to you.

Because now you're in a new situation, and you're happy without them. But in their minds, they should be considered to be of the utmost importance—something essential and ultimate. So they don't expect you to move on from them, and even if you do, they don't expect it to last.

Initial Reactions

When they see that you've found someone new, it will spark their curiosity. They will try to play it down, acting like it isn't anything substantial, but they will be eager to learn more about it. They may even try to test it by coming back with a Hoover, texting, or calling you. They want to determine if you're actually serious, but they don't want you to see them going through it. So they will try to maintain a calm and composed appearance. They won't act jealous; they may even say that they're happy for you. But inside, it's getting to them, and they will assume that you're trying to make them jealous, even if that's not what you're trying to do.

Attempts to Reconnect

They will try very hard to attract someone else's attention. They will put out all of these pictures on social media with this new person they recently met because they want you to see that they've moved on as well. But normally, they will have someone before you do. That is typically what narcissists do to protect their emotional fragility, which is why they will normally already have someone lined up before they even left you.

You will know when they have someone else because they will start disrespecting you. They have a black-or-white mentality where people are either all good or bad. So as soon as they find someone new, everything about you is bad. They can't stand you; they don't even want to be around you. They may still keep you around just in case things don't work out with their new person. But when they show that they found a suitable target, that's when you will really witness the disrespect. That's when you will see who they really are.

Emotional Manipulation

They've been this way the entire time. They were always full of anger and frustration; they just didn't reveal it to you. But they felt this way about you the entire time. If they really cared about you, they never would have treated you that way. This is why they never invested anything into you—because they never loved you anyway. They were just trying to get an advantage over you, behaving in an unfair and dishonest way to get what they want. They already knew it wasn't going to work out, which is why they already went out and got someone on the side. They didn't expect things to get better for you anytime soon.

You could be fooled into thinking that they still care about you because they may still give you the occasional message or phone call. But they don't care; they're just trying to stay relevant so that they can continue to control you. They just want you to continue to be that good little dog—attentive, balanced, calm, loving, and playful. They want you to follow all their expectations and rules. They don't want you to dismiss them or treat them as unworthy of serious consideration. They want you to still be longing and yearning for them so that you can't move on, so that you can't replace them.

Deliberate Delays

You're in a state of uncertainty. You still have feelings for them. You feel very sad and disappointed. You're in a state of shock, and that is going to make it very difficult for you to move on. They are fully aware of that, so they're doing this intentionally. They're deliberately trying to delay your attempts to heal by being manipulative, deceptive, and controlling. They're not expecting you to move on anytime soon. They think they can go off and do whatever they want, and you'll still be there waiting for them.

Many of you will do that because you still want them. You still think that things can get better. You think that you can fix them because you loved them, and your feelings are real. But it wasn't real for them because it was all about control. They just wanted to stay relevant so that they could feel better about themselves because they're very insecure. This is why they love it when you still want them after everything they did to you. You're still longing and yearning for them. It makes them feel good.

Reality Check

In their minds, that means things are going well because they did all of these bad things to you, and they know it was wrong. Yet you still want to take them back, and they still have the power to turn you down, which just makes them feel like they can do whatever they want. It makes them feel like they can do anything, and you will still forgive them. But when you move on, when you find happiness without them, and they are aware of it, it destroys their false narrative. They're forced to accept that they're not so valuable or special after all. It crushes the illusions of their false self. It brings them back to reality and makes them realize that they're actually nothing.

They don't want to feel like that. They don't want to accept the truth. They'd rather live in their fantasy world where they could be powerful and important. But when you move on and see them for what they actually are, it causes them to lose confidence because they're actually very insecure. This is why they'd rather put you in a position where you're going through it, longing and yearning for them, but you're hurt because they're gone, because they're not there for you. Your pain regulates their emotions. It makes them feel better about themselves because they feed off your pain. Your pain brings them pleasure because it tells them that they're valuable and special.

They can't feel that way by doing what normal people do. They can't experience normal, loving relationships because that doesn't do anything for them. They can only feel special by hurting you, by making you suffer. But when you find a way to move on and you're happy without them, it will cause them to feel very confused. They will assume that you must have found someone better than them, and it will really get to them because they hate to see any type of progress. They hate to see you moving on, which is why they will start to resort to frantic behavior. They will start drinking alcohol or taking drugs because they can't outdo you. They can't be on your level, so they will experience a narcissistic collapse and will look for other people to pull them out of it.

But they'll never find what they're looking for because, in the end, they will always turn against them. They bite the hand that feeds them. They do bad things and are ungrateful towards the person without them.