You should feel embarrassed or guilty for even desiring to be around them because of their actions or characteristics. These narcissists have done some really sick, twisted things to you and the people around them. They often don't think about the consequences of their actions and even when they do, they don't care about what happens. They don't care about how their actions will affect you or the people around them. All they care about is what they want in that moment so you should feel ashamed to be around them. They have no morals, values or standards. They are actively engaging in acts that are unethical. They are doing things that are potentially dangerous or harmful to you. Or at the very least, things that are unfavourable to you. They engage in acts of abuse, manipulation, stalking, harassment, cheating, lying, stealing, illegal activities. They get you caught up in all kinds of stuff and put you in difficult or unfavourable situations. If you have pride or confidence in yourself, or a feeling that you are behaving with honour or dignity, you would not desire to be around these people. If you have self respect or self love, you would not desire to be around them and if you do then it means that you do not love or respect yourself. How can you love yourself if you are around people who are intentionally trying to put you in dangerous or harmful situations? How can you respect yourself if you are spending time with people who do not respect you? If they had any respect for you or the people around them, they would not be engaged in such unethical acts. They clearly have no respect for family or their children or the consequences of how their actions may affect them. All they care about is what they want in that moment, regardless of how it affects anyone around them. You may think that you are trying to help or change them but they don't want help, they don't want to change. They prefer dysfunctional environments where they are able to engage in unethical acts to get what they want from people. If they wanted help or if they wanted to change they wouldn't be operating in this way. They would be trying to make changes in order to correct or improve their behaviour and the effects that it is having on you or the people around them. I'm not disputing about toxic or dysfunctional people who are trying to change or improve their lives. The most important thing is what they are doing right now, rather than what they have done in the past. The difference is that narcissists are engaged in unethical acts right now in the present. This isn't something they have done five or ten years ago, this is something that is still on-going and it's not something that is going to change any time soon. So you are around these types of people who engage in unethical acts and have no desire or intention to change, you should feel ashamed. You should feel embarrassed or guilty and whether you know it or not, you might even be enabling their behaviour to continue. When you associate yourself with these types of people, it means that you support their behaviour. You are an accomplice or an associate. You are involved with them, you are connected to them. If you do not approve of what they are doing, you need to separate yourself from them. They have targeted your self worth and your self esteem and made you believe that they are all you are worthy or deserving of. They have tricked or manipulated you into believing that you need to change for them or you need to prove yourself to them when all you're really doing is accomodating their unethical behaviour. You need to separate yourself from these people. You need to rebuild your self worth and your self esteem. Learn to respect yourself. Practice self love. Remind yourself what is right and what is wrong and then you will have no desire to be around these people. You will know when you are beginning to rebuild your self worth and your self esteem as well as loving and respecting yourself. That is when you will begin to feel shameful for being around them. You will feel too guilty or embarrassed to even interact with them because you know that what they are doing is wrong and you don't want any part of it. You don't want to be involved with people who engage in unethical behaviour. They might try to force themselves into your life and get you involved in it, so that they feel less shameful about what they are doing... But you know you're better than that. You know that you are worthy or deserving of something far greater than what they have to offer. You are greater than them and they know this, which is why they tried so hard to demolish your self worth and self esteem. They tried to turn you against yourself and make you believe that you didn't deserve any better. This is something the narcissist greatly fears. For you to wake up and realise that you deserve so much better than what they have to offer. They manipulated or tricked you into giving your power to them. But when you take your power back and look at them for what they are, you have no reason to stick around.
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