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Why We Always Get The Last Laugh

After the narcissist rejected you or refused to do something because they were too proud. After they expressed contempt and disdain for you. You finally get the satisfaction of success by succeeding when they thought you would not. While they look foolish after they criticised and opposed you. At first, you may be very confused. Because you're wondering what is so good about this next situation? What makes it so much better than what they had with you?

You may see that they're tolerating things that they wouldn't tolerate with you. You may see that they're doing things they didn't do with you. You may have been very organised and prepared and in a better state of life. You may have lived in a good and sensible way. You may have strived to reach your goals through effort and determination. And you had everything under control. But this new person isn't on your level. Because what you didn't realise at the time is that the narcissist wasn't on your level as well.

They got lucky with you. And you didn't see it, because you overcompensated for their shortcomings. You took excessive measures to correct and make amends for their errors, weaknesses, and problems. You invested all of your time, money, and energy into something that was not as valuable as you are. Because they managed to get involved with you by talking and making you believe that they can do something. Or by making you believe that something is true about themselves. They spoke very convincingly about their plans, abilities, and intentions. But they weren't of the same value or quality as you are. And people will ultimately seek out others who are of the same value and quality.

People who are similar to themselves. They will eventually gravitate towards others who have similar opinions, ideas, and interests. They may have played a role with you and acted like they were something else with you. But they will eventually gravitate back to those same types of people. And it may shock and surprise you. But that's because you overlooked the people that they were associating with. Which should have revealed to you if they were on the same level as you. It should have revealed to you if they shared the same values and beliefs. It should have revealed to you if you had something in common. Before you accomodated them in your life. Because you can tell a lot about a person by the people with whom they associate and spend time with.

If you know who a persons friends and associates are, you should know what their character is. Because like minds stick together. But if they're a narcissist, they will say that they like the same things as you do. To confuse and mislead you. To build a false connection. To make you accept them. Where although something may seem off about them, you make an exception for them. You give them a chance. Because they're claiming to have similar likes and interests. Or as though you have introduced something to them that they now like. It's fake, but it works. It makes you want to accept them. But if they were really a high value person. If they were everything that they led you to believe.

They would never reduce to a lower position or level of importance. They wouldn't settle for less. They wouldn't feel comfortable. If they were being real with you. If they were really who they said they were. But they're not really settling for less. They're accepting something that is at their own level. Because they never had the qualities or skills to be involved with you in the first place. They just dealt with you in a dishonest way. And they got you to believe in them. They got you to trust them. And that is how you chose them. Even though they don't have the qualities or skills to maintain a relationship. They tricked you.

Which is why as time goes by, it reveals their deficiencies and inadequacies. Their peformance starts to decline. You're not getting what you thought you were getting. They're falling behind. Because they don't have the qualities and skills to be efficient enough at maintaining a relationship with you. So it starts to have an effect on them. It's too much for them to manage. It starts to be an irritating convenience to them. It's starts to cause them difficulty and trouble. Which results in problems and arguments. Until it makes them very tired and less able to deal with the situation. Until they no longer want to put on an act. They like the payout. But it's not a good position for them. They're not up to the mark. They're not good enough for it. So eventually, they will fail to participate.

They will blow you off. They will become unavailable. Because they never had the necessary qualities and skills for the position of being with you in the first place. Which is why you saw a gradual decline in their performance. Which is why they couldn't maintain composure to avoid an overly emotional reaction. Which is why you couldn't stay together and continue having a good relationship. Because they weren't how they used to be in the beginning. They couldn't meet your requirements and expectations. There was a gradual decline in their performance. And that is why they ended up ghosting you. Because they knew it was only a matter of time until the ship would sink, with them as the captain. So they had to get out of there.

They had to go somewhere where there was less requirements. Where there were lower standards. Where people don't expect so much from them. And that is why you end up seeing them with someone who is below the standard you expected. Someone who is not at the level that you were, when they were with you. Because they dropped down to a level that is easier for them to control. A level that they can deal with without difficulty. Because being with you was higher than their ability. They wanted the benefits and conveniences. But they were never at the expected standard to be in that position.

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This is so Spot on!

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