top of page

Why Narcissists Come Back

Narcissists like to come back. They like to play peek a boo. They like to hide and then suddenly reappear. To give you just enough hope, without the relationship actually going anywhere or advancing. Because they're very insecure. They're constantly in survival mode. And they're doing anything they can to survive. They have a scarcity mentality. Where they think that something is not easy to find or get. Where they feel like there's not enough to go around. Which is why they're so quick to give up on you. Because they're not willing to invest anything into you. Because they feel like they're not enough. So they expect you to do everything for them. Because they're very fragile. They fall apart very easily. Which is why they're always on edge. They're always scanning the environment for threats. And they also get their value from other people.

Which is why they need excessive compliments and praise. It's why they always need people to do things for them. Because they have to get their value from the outside. But if you're not willing to give them what they want, they will devalue you. They will intimidate you. They will deflect and project. They will lie. They will gaslight you. Because they have a black and white mentality. Where if you're not with them, then you must be against them. And from that point on, they will have it out for you. They will persistently desire to criticise, cause harm to and harass you. Because they're holding a grudge against you. They have a persistent feeling of ill will and resentment. Because they feel like they have been treated unfairly. Even though you may have done everything for them. It's never enough. Because they have these insatiable desires. They have these delusions of grandiosity. So nothing could ever be enough for them. They will always want more. And if you don't keep catering to their demands, they will want to take you down. Before you get the chance to expose them.

Everything they do is for narcissistic supply. But they need supply from multiple sources. So even if they have someone else, they will still keep holding on to you. Because they want as much supply as they can. But once you've made it clear to them that you're no longer under their spell. They will have no choice but to get it from somewhere else. They will have to seek out a new source of supply. Everything they do is for supply. And that is why they come back. Because they suspect that you may still be susceptible to their manipulation. So they will hoover you. Even if you haven't spoken for months or years. They will call you. Or they will message you on social media. Because they're testing the waters. They're judging your feelings and opinions before taking further action.

To see if they can pull you back in. To see if they can get something out of you again. And if they think that there's an opportunity for them to do that, they will try to regain their control over you again. And they may do this by lovebombing you. But if that doesn't work, they will make insulting remarks to anger, wound and provoke you. Because that still gives them supply. When they come back, they will be seeking revenge. They will be seeking to punish you for leaving them. When the narcissist comes back, you shouldn't even respond. You should treat them like a stranger. As though you don't even know who they are. Because they haven't changed. And it's not going to get better. They will always be the same. They will always do the same thing. They will just find different ways to achieve the result that they want.

66 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All

1 Comment

Thanks Chris 🙏🏾

bottom of page