The narcissist may have discarded you. Or maybe you got rid of them. And then it seemed like they moved on. It seemed like they forgot about you. It seemed like they no longer desired to return to you. As though they have found someone else. As though they're happy without you. Or at least, that's what they want you to believe. Because when you do this, the narcissist will return. They will come back to you. They will lovebomb you again. When you start focusing on your own life. When you become comfortable with their absence. With their unavailability. When you begin to attend to your own wants and needs again. When you do things that you like to do. When you do things that you are passionate about. The narcissist will begin to sense that your energy is slipping away. They will sense that you are beginning to heal and move on from them. And they may not have taken any notice of you, up until this time. But when you make the choice to better yourself and improve your life.
That is something that they can't ignore. So when you do that, the narcissist will return. But it's not because they love you or miss you. It's not because they want to spend the rest of their lives with you. It's not because they think you're their soulmate. Although that is what they might say. Although that is what they might want you to believe. The narcissist will return only for their own self-interests and needs. Because they want something from you. They want more of the benefits and conveniences that you were once providing to them. They see that you have picked yourself up off the floor. They see that you are starting to deal with and emerge from the pain that they put you through. And it makes them feel like they are losing control. It makes them feel like they no longer have any influence over you. Because now you are making your own decisions. You are living your life the way that you want to live. And they don't like that. Because they see you as an extension of them. In their minds, you are an object that exists to serve them. That is your purpose in life. They don't want you to go off on your own. They don't want you to do the things that you want to do. They just want you to lay in the pit of misery that they have created for you. Because that's the only way that they can feel comfortable. It's the only way that they can move on without thinking about you. But when you pick yourself up off the floor and you start trying to clean up the mess that they have left behind. It distracts them. They get jealous. Because they see it as though you're their property. They think you belong to them. So they will reidealise you. They will lovebomb you again. They will come back to resecure you as their source of supply. Because they see that you have potential. They see that you could be better without them. But they don't want to have to witness that. They want to keep you down at a level that is easier for them to control. They want to make you easier to manage. Which is why they have to keep you in a state of trauma and distress. And they will come back to punish you for thinking that you can move on without them.
For thinking that you can do better without them. They think you're arrogant for trying to do that without their help. Because in their minds they know everything. In their minds they're always right. So when you try to do anything on your own, they see it as an insult. Even if they just dumped you in a ditch and walked away. They expect you to beg them to return. They expect you to beg for their help and assistance. But when you get back on your feet. And you do everything you can to better yourself and improve your life. They will notice. And they will try to come back. Because they're jealous and insecure.
They feel like their pet is escaping. And they may also feel like there's more they can suck out of you. So they will come back to leech off you again. But it's not about love. It's not because they miss you. It's not because they care about you. If they did, they wouldn't have done all of those things to you. They would have cared for you when they had the chance. So don't entertain any hoover attempts from the narcissist. Keep it moving. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself. And live your best life.
Thanks NS…needed to see this today.