The narcissist was devaluing you. They were putting you down. They were making you feel bad about yourself. Because they have black and white thinking. They see people as all good or all bad. They either have a use for you or they don't. But they often take people for granted. They underestimate their victims. When they were devaluing you, it's because they understood you incorrectly.
They thought things were continuing as they always do. They thought they were going to do to you what they did to everyone else. They thought they were going to discard you and leave you broken. And they thought that you were going to be holding on. Waiting for their return. But they didn't expect you to close that door. After everything they did to you. After they devalued you. After they disrespected you. After they told so many lies about you.
They didn't expect you to leave. And although they may not regret their actions or see what they did wrong. They will be thinking about you. They will be obsessing over you. Because they know the difference. They know what was good for them. And they don't have that anymore. Maybe you were giving them money. Maybe you gave them a place to stay. Or maybe you just made them feel better about themselves. And they miss that feeling. It's different without you. So they may not regret their actions. But they wish that you could come back.
That's why they will often hoover you. They will try to get you back. Because they realise that things were better for them when they were with you. But when they can no longer gain access to you, that is when they realise that you are the one that got away. Because now they can no longer control you. They can no longer treat you like a doormat. While you're upgrading your life. You're looking happier and healthier. And they're seeing it and thinking about it. Because you are the one that got away. And they may find new supply. But they will run them into the ground. They will cause continuous trouble for them. Because they're not who the narcissist really wants.
The narcissist wanted you. You were their grade A source of supply. But you got away. And they know that there isn't anyone else like you. They know they're not going to find a suitable replacement. Which is why they will often hoover you. They will do anything to get you back. They will return with gifts. Or they will try to cause trouble for you. Because you impacted their life. You had a strong effect on them. But you got away. And they didn't expect you to do that.
They thought you were stupid. Because you gave all of your treasures to someone who didn't even deserve it. And they knew they weren't deserving of it. They see your kindness and generosity as acts of foolishness generated by a lack of knowledge and experience. But when you walk away, that's when they begin to realise that maybe you're not so foolish after all.
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