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When The Narcissist Finally Gives In

When the narcissist first targeted you, they lovebombed you. They prepared and trained you to be their source of supply. And it may have been very flattering for you. You may have felt wanted and appreciated. But it wasn’t long until they began to devalue you. Until they began to turn against you. Until they began to insult you and put you down. Which may have left you confused. It may have left you wondering why they were treating you like their enemy. Why they were always competing with you. Because you may have thought you were on the same team.

But narcissists are very envious and jealous. They always have to be the best. Because they’re very insecure. They act arrogant and entitled. But deep down they feel completely worthless inside. That’s why they do what they do. That’s why they go out of their way to bring people down. Because if they can make you feel like you’re less than who you really are… it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel superior. Because it validates the illusions of their false self. It follows their false narrative.

Which is all a narcissist really wants. They want you to validate and support the illusion. So that they can feel powerful and in control. Power and control is more important to a narcissist than anything else. It’s more important to them than money. Which is why they will spend their money to gain power. Or they will spend it to gain control over you. When the narcissist finally gives in, it’s not because they’ve suddenly had an epiphany. It’s not because they love you or miss you. It’s not because they care about you. Although that is what they may try to make you believe. Everything a narcissist does is self serving. They always have an agenda. Even when it may seem like they’re considering you and they’re doing what you want… it’s still all about them. It’s still all about power and control. When the narcissist isn’t cooperating with you, you may chase them initially. You may try to get them to see your side of things. But after a while, you stop doing that. You give up on trying to please them. Because you feel like nothing works. And the moment that you give up, the narcissist will give in. Because they sense that your energy is slipping away. They feel like their pet is escaping. So they give in to your wants, needs and desires, even if it’s only for a moment. They pretend to support your goals and dreams. They future fake. They promise something about your possible future. While they have no intention of following it up with action. And they can be convincing. They will make you feel like the wait is over.

All of your hard work has finally paid off. When in reality, they’re just giving you a fraction of what you’ve already given to them. They’re not really giving in at all. It’s an illusion. And it’s designed to take the heat off of them. To stop you from questioning and confronting them. Because they know you’re not going to wait around forever. They know they have to give you something. But they will give you as little as possible. Whatever it takes to keep the wheels turning. Because they don’t care about you.

They never did. It was all a facade. They pretended to care to keep you under their spell. So that they could keep getting what they wanted from you. When they give in, they’re grooming you. They’re preparing and training you for a purpose. They’re trying to prevent you from leaving. They’re trying to keep you under their control. But it’s not because they love you or miss you. It’s not because they care. They only care about supply.

They only care about getting their needs met at your expense. And they’re never going to reciprocate back to you what you’re giving to them. They can only give you the illusion of significance and value. They reflect it back to you. But they’re not really about that. They’re not about anything, other than themselves. They’re fake people who will do anything they can to convince you that they are real. They will tell you whatever they think you need to hear. To make you believe that they’re about something. To make you believe that you have a future with them. But they have no intention of sticking around. They’re just in it for the moment. While they’re still getting something out of it. But once they’ve drained you of everything you’ve got, they’re out of there. And then they’re on to the next person. Like you never existed. Like you never meant anything to them. And even if you catch on to what they’re trying to do, before they manage to leave you… It’s not going to make a difference. They’re not going to give you an explanation. They’re not going to own up to their actions and behaviour. They don’t think they should have to answer to anyone. They believe that they are superior. And they see you as their subordinate. They’re arrogant and entitled. They expect you to cater to them. It’s only when they start to see that you’re waking up from their spell. That’s when they will start to give in.

They will give you breadcrumbs, to keep you believing in their lies. But you will never see anything of significant value. They will never be able to meet you halfway. You will always be putting out more than what they’re giving to you. It will never be 50/50. There will never be an equal exchange. You will always be the one with the short end of the stick. And that’s never going to change. It’s just going to get worse the longer you stay with them. As they begin to get more comfortable. Until they believe that they own you. Until they believe that you owe them the world. And they’re not going to think that they owe you anything in return for your efforts. They feel entitled to it. They see it as though that’s what you’re supposed to do. Which is why they’re never grateful. They never appreciate anything you do for them.

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Is this give and take similar to what is known as a “trauma bond”. I guess they give out bread crumbs in an attempt to keep their target around? I’ve seen this scenario played out in my own life. But, bc of prayer, watching your videos and having supportive friends…I’m able to read past the smoke n mirrors. NS, thanks again for sharing. It’s really helpful for me! God bless 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾

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