When they finally improve their behaviour, habits and beliefs. Sometimes they will change their ways. They may begin to act kind and helpful. As someone who can support you. They may begin to act as a person of exemplary conduct and virtue. As a person who is just trying to do the right thing. But they haven't really reformed. They haven't really relinquished their immoral, criminal and self-destructive lifestyle. They haven't really made changes in order to improve themselves. Although it may look that way. They can never really change. Because that is an oxymoron. It's a contradictory statement. It opposes its own meaning. The whole point of the issue is that they cannot change. If they could change, there wouldn't be a problem. But it may seem as though they have changed. It may seem as though they're finally doing the right thing. But there are always reasons why they're doing that. It's not self-motivated. It's not because of their own enthusiasm or interest, without needing pressure from other people.
They're doing it because they have no choice. They're in a situation where they must do it. There's no other alternative. And that is the only reason why they will change. Because they're getting older. They're no longer getting attention or admiration. They're no longer getting the privileges or special treatment that they used to. They're no longer getting things for free. So now they have to live just like everyone else. They have to behave like a normal person. They can't afford to be grandiose. Because they're not getting the same amount of attention or validation. So they may have been cheating on their partner. They may have been engaging in destructive behaviour. But the only reason why they're not doing that now, is because they know they can't get away with it anymore. They know they're not going to get attention. So they haven't really changed. They haven't learned from their mistakes. They haven't accepted accountability. They've only changed something about themselves because they're forced to. They have no other choice. So if they are given the choice or if they think they can get away with it... They may still try to do the same thing again. Even if they're married with you. Even if they have children with you. They will still try to sneak off with someone else. Because they don't really care about you. They don't care about being a better person for you. All they care about is getting attention and validation. They will give you fake apologies and false epiphanies. They will tell you they're done with that lifestyle now. They will tell you that they have changed. And that all they want is a better future for themselves and a good relationship with you. But as soon as they get the opportunity to go back to their old lifestyle again, they will do it. They can't help themselves. They will go out of their way to get attention. They will take advantage of anyone who comes their way. They will always look for excuses to go behind your back. To justify their destructive behaviour. They never change. They're damaged people. They can't have a normal relationship with you. They can't function in it. Because they never learned how to do that. They've never been exclusive to anyone. They've always had multiple partners. They've always cheated on the person that they're with. But they always had a primary partner. They always had a person that they came home to. Because they're very selfish. They only care about themselves. So they will find someone to take care of them. Someone that they can come home to. Someone who will give them everything that they want. But they will refuse to be a loyal and supportive partner. They will be seeking out other options, instead of using that time to attend to you. Which is why they shouldn't be someone you want to be on your team. Because they are horrible partners. They want you to be everything they need. But they don't want to act that way for you. They want to be in a relationship. But they don't want to act like a relationship partner. They want the benefits and the advantages, without any responsibility. They haven't really changed. They've just lost their power.
So if they get the opportunity to regain their power, even for a short moment of time, they will use it. They will do things they said they would never do again. They will lie to you. They will act innocent. They will act like they're not doing anything wrong.But you need to trust your own intuition. Because they're never going to tell you the truth. They want you to think that they've changed. They want you to think that they're different now. So if you confront them on it, they will just twist it on you. They will say that you don't trust them.
They will say you're insecure. While they're doing all of this stuff behind your back. So whenever they try to show you they've changed, you shouldn't believe it. Because in time, you will notice the signs that they're still the same. Tthey will make up excuses. They will say that they have changed. But the second they get the opportunity to betray you, they're going to run off to it. So don't fall for it. Don't believe their lies.
That's so true, Chris. Narcissists are the best liars on the planet. They are so used to lying that they can make up a lie so quickly. Even if you catch them in the act of doing something to deceive you, they will twist around like an alligator in the water and end up saying that you're crazy. I think any woman who hears their mates say to them that they're crazy, they should take that as a big red flag. After all, why would that narcissist want you if you were truly crazy? I wish I would have known to ask him that. I'm grateful that I got away. I'm grateful that I grew and I'm not the same…