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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

When Is The Narcissist's Game Over


How do you know when it's finally over? How do you know when you have finally defeated them? These are all questions I'm sure that you will have. The power to decide when the narcissist's game is over, is in your hands. Once you no longer believe in them. Or believe in what they are saying or displaying to you. Once you no longer see them as a credible source. And you no longer entertain their opinions of you or how they feel about you. You no longer believe in their lies, their illusions. Now the narcissist's game is over. Now they know that they no longer have the same control over you, as they once did. They are no longer able to pull your strings in the same way as they once did. They can no longer get you to believe in them or whatever it is that they want you to believe. Once you take your belief away. Your acceptance that something exists or is true. Your confidence in them. Your dependence or reliance on them.



Once you take all of this away, it makes it very difficult for them to manipulate or control you. Because you're not believing in anything they say or display to you anymore. You don't trust them anymore. You have taken away your firm belief in their reliability, truth or ability. Not only that, but you don't see them as possessing any significant value to you. You don't see them as being anything of importance, worth or usefulness to you. This is what the narcissist's manipulation and control of you depends on. It depends on your acceptance of what they are saying or displaying to you. Followed by your belief, dependence and reliance on them. You have to trust in them as being something of reliability, truth or ability. You have to believe that they possess some form of importance, worth or usefulness to you. If you no longer believe in what they are saying, or displaying to you. If you take a step back from their lies or illusions and really see them for what they are. You will realize that they do not hold any importance, worth or usefulness to you. There isn't any value there. The manipulation was designed to make you believe that there was value there. That's what it was all about, making you believe that something of value existed where it did not. By making you believe that they held something of value or significance to you, they were then able to control you. They were able to get you to stay or meet their demands, chase their approval of you. When they never held their end of the bargain. This relationship you had with them was an unwritten contract. An agreement made between two people about what each will do for the other. They were getting plenty of value and significance from you. Your attention, validation, approval and admiration of them. Your positive energy, love, acceptance. Trust, loyalty, honesty. Maybe money, material items, sex. You gave them plenty of value and significance, that's why this game lasted for so long. But they failed to meet or satisfy their part of the agreement. The only work they ever put into this was to make you believe that they had something of value or significance to offer you. This is all dependent on your belief. Everything they do revolves around making you believe that they have some level of importance, worth or usefulness to you. When the reality is very different. They do not hold any importance to you, they never did. If anything, they hold a negative value. And rather than being anything of any use to you, they are liabilities. Their presence or behavior will inevitably put you at a disadvantage. They create circumstances that make your progress or success difficult. Once you begin to realize this, it will affect them. At this point, their game is over. They can no longer alter your perception. They can no longer change how you understand or interpret them. Once the game is over, they have no choice but to move on and leave you alone. It's too much effort for them to try and get you to believe in them all over again. To regain your trust and the level of honor or respect that they once had in your eyes.



They had to alter your perceptions and make you believe that they should hold a level of honor or respect to you. But once you no longer believe in what they are saying or displaying to you. They will stop trying to make you see them as anything honorable or respectable. Because they know they hold nothing of significance or value to you, they knew that all along. The game was to try and get you to believe that they had some level of importance, worth or usefulness to you. This is what created the cognitive dissonance, the two conflicting beliefs. They never really gave you anything of significance or value. But they managed to get you to believe that they did have something to offer. You really need to take a step back and look at it for what it is. From a third-person perspective. You have been abused and manipulated. Devalued and degraded. Publicly humiliated and exploited. Where is the significance or value in any of this? You want to believe in them. You want to believe that they had something great to offer you. But they didn't. That was all a lie, an illusion. If they had anything great to offer you, you would have seen it by now. Look at everything that you have experienced with them. Remember everything they told you or displayed to you. Everything they tried to get you to believe, the future faking. Then make an assessment of your current situation and where you are now. You have every reason not to believe in them. Every reason not to value anything they say or display to you. Identify that you are not dealing with a credible person. You are not dealing with someone that you can rely or depend on. Someone that you can trust. This person does not hold any of those qualities. If they did, there would be some positive results by now. Even with a narcissist, it shouldn't take them that long to develop some level of progress or success. But if your current situation with them hasn't improved in any way. You need to stop believing in them. They are not worthy or deserving of your belief, and they know it. That's why they have all of these manipulation tactics, to disguise that fact. They know that they're not good enough for you. The game is designed to make you believe that you're not good enough for them. Then you will constantly try to meet their demands, while they do not give any importance, worth or usefulness to you. And that's exactly how they want it to be. Because they know that if there was an opportunity where they were forced to display some level of importance, worth or usefulness to you, they would fail miserably. You would quickly realize that this person does not possess the qualities, talents or positive traits that they once claim to have. That is the purpose of this game. They are well aware that they do not possess any of the qualities, talents or positive traits that you are looking for. The game is to make you believe that they do. Meanwhile, devaluing and degrading you, to make you feel as though you are not good enough for them. It keeps you looking at yourself, rather than at them and how they really have no importance, worth or usefulness to offer you. The narcissist's game revolves around your belief. It is dependent on your belief. Your belief holds a great amount of value in this game, it is very valuable to them. If you believe in them, they are able to manipulate and control you. Once you take away your belief, it will remove your emotional attachment to them. It will take away your reliance, your dependency on them. You will begin to realize that the only person you need to rely or depend on is yourself. All the manipulation tactics, all the denial, projection, gaslighting and the double bind. It was designed to make you believe as though you cannot rely or depend on yourself. This left you returning to the narcissist for validation.



The narcissist got in the middle of the relationship you once had with yourself. They made you believe that you could no longer love or trust yourself. They made you feel as though you were not a complete person. As though you needed them to be complete. But here is the secret they do not want you to know. The secret which will end the narcissist's game forever. The secret is that you are already complete. You can rely on yourself, you can depend on yourself.


Everything they did to you was designed to make you believe that you can no longer love or trust yourself. That is what gave them the power to manipulate and control you. Take back your power and realize that you are already complete. Stop believing in them. You can rely on yourself, you can depend on yourself. And you have more significant, valuable things to do than play games with a person who is too afraid to face reality.


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3件のコメント


Hailey
Hailey
2021年12月08日

Being with a narcissist depletes you until you are incomplete. You are a fragmented and disregulated person after dealing with a narc especially long term codependency with one.


We do need reminding how we are/were/can be wholly complete by ourselves and start to address our insecurity, self doubts or wounds/ characterization narrative given to us by a narc that we now believe in.


Once we see and accept our complete selves was only injured, discredited and dissected: can we see our complete self is the most worthy and precious attribute and why the narc had to insert their content right between our eyes and temporal lobes to take us over and create this zombification process to possess us.


No matter…


いいね!

kathyh60huffman
2021年12月06日

Most excellent article NS! He won't be bothering me anymore! I beat him wt his own game...Yes there is a God... Good luck survivors...just get outta there b4 you lose yourself!! 💃💃💌💩💌💩

いいね!

4lydialewis
2021年12月06日

Wow that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for everything. I will read this over and over until it syncs in my mind and heart. The Narcissist in my life has toned all the way down to a "good morning" in the day and a "good night" at the end of the day. He's run out of fuel because I'm believing in myself more and more each day. Again thank you

いいね!
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