When you apologise to the narcissist, they don't see you as being upright and upstanding. They don't see you as being good or moral. It doesn't make them admire or respect you. They see your apology as a sign of weakness. It causes them to lose more respect for you. It makes them treat you even worse. Because when you apologise to the narcissist, you're just giving your power away to them. And the narcissist will only use that power to abuse you. They will only take advantage of it. Whenever you give in to the narcissist, they might appreciate it initially. But then they begin to treat you even worse. They will have less respect for you. Which is why you cannot apologise to the narcissist. Even if you did something wrong. Stay in your frame. Do not make excuses. Just be honest about it. And then if you want to, you can try to make improvements in the future. But you don't have to explain yourself. Because if you do that, you will only be digging yourself a hole.
You will be making the situation even more difficult. Because when you apologise or try to explain yourself to the narcissist, they will just see it as a sign of weakness. And there's nothing they hate more than what they perceive to be weak people. People who don't have a strength of character. They may say that it's something they like or prefer. But really, they hate it. Which is why you should never take a narcissist's advice. Instead, you should observe their behaviour. You should observe their actions. You should observe what they do. Because anything they say to you is just a part of the manipulation. Which is why you should watch what they do when you apologise. They will just see it as a weakness. They will just see it as something for them to exploit. They might act as though they appreciate it. But deep down they will resent you for it. Because really, they don't care if you're wrong or right. They're only looking to see if you will stand your ground or not. Because morally, narcissists don't care. Narcissists lack morals and ethics. That's something that only people with empathy will experience. And it's not something that can only be reserved for whatever or whoever they choose. It affects every area of their lives. If they have no empathy for you, they have no empathy for anyone. So morally, the narcissist doesn't care if you're wrong or right. They just want to see if you will collapse under pressure.
They want to see if you will give up your position to please them. Which is something that you should never do when you are dealing with a narcissist. Because it's a trap. But when you stop apologising to the narcissist, they will start to treat you differently. They may even have more respect for you, once you stop apologising to them. So many people who are with narcissists are apologising even when they're not wrong. They apologise just for being alive. Because narcissists will brainwash you into doing that, if you let them.
There are enough people apologising to the narcissist. They are the victims in every situation that they encounter. So stop apologising to the narcissist. Even if you did something wrong. There are other ways to do that, other than saying sorry. Never apologise to the narcissist. Because they will view it as a sign of weakness. They will see it as something for them to exploit. They will see it as you abandoning your reality in exchange for theirs. Which is why you have to stop apologising to the narcissist. You have to stay in your frame. And then you will demonstrate strength. Then the narcissist will see that they can't pull you into their reality. Which means that you will then be able to direct the course of events. You will be able to steer the ship. So that it goes in the direction that you prefer. Rather than in a direction that is unfavourable for you.