When you are involved with a narcissist, it isn't long until you begin to see their anger. Or it may be their anger that makes you aware of them. And this is a recognisable trait in any narcissist. They're always mad about something. There's always something wrong. There's always a reason why they can't be happy. There's always something that needs to change. There's always something that needs to be different. The reason why narcissists are so angry or upset is because they have less or something different than what they think they deserve. They think that they have been treated unfairly. They think that other people have unfair advantages. Narcissists are arrogant and entitled. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. Which leads them to feel inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment. They believe that they should be successful. They believe that they should have money. They believe that they should be with people who are attractive, wealthy and successful. Just because they want it. And often without doing anything to earn it. They expect things to fall into their lap. They expect to receive whatever they want unexpectedly or without effort. Because they assume that's how other people manifested what they wanted. Because all they see is the finished product.
They don't see or care about the hard work that those people put in, to get to where they are today. All they're concerned is what those people have now. Narcissists are very competitive. They have a strong desire to be better than other people. Which is why they're always making comparisons. But sometimes what they have just doesn't measure up. It doesn't meet a particular requirement, standard or expectation. It's not good enough to compete. And that's when they get mad. They get bitter and resentful. Because they feel like they are more deserving than other people. So they feel like it's unfair. When a healthy person would be able to accept that there's always going to people who have something more or something greater than them. There's always going to be people who are more successful or more attractive. There's always going to be people who have something better than what you have. But if you're a healthy person, you're not going to let it dictate your feelings and actions. You're not going to let it control you. You're not going to let it change how you feel about yourself. But the narcissist needs people to prop up their false self. They need people to support the illusion. So when they come across people who they see as better or greater than them, it affects them greatly. It causes them to feel inadequate. As though they have no value or useful purpose. Because they have a dualistic mentality. They see everything in black or white. Where something is either all good or all bad. Perfect or flawed. Which is why they cannot accept their flaws or imperfections. They cannot accept their faults or mistakes. Because then that would open the floodgates to everything else they've buried in the past. Which would be too much for them to deal with. Their anger and resentment is a coping mechanism and a defence mechanism, to compensate for how they really see themselves. Because deep down they know they're not special. They just don't want to accept it. So instead they act like they're always the victim. They act like everything's unfair. Because they can't accept that maybe what they have is what they deserve. Maybe what they have is just the result of their own actions and efforts. They don't want to accept that. Because to them it would mean that they're not good enough. Which is like death to a narcissist. They have to be the best. Or they have to have people or circumstances to blame for why they're not where they think they should be. It can never be their fault. Because they can't deal with the shame. But while it may seem like they're mad at you. They're actually just mad at themselves. Narcissists hate themselves.
Which is why they abandoned their true self a long time ago and constructed a false self, that is meant to be perfect. Because they just couldn't cope with those feelings of inadequacy. But if there aren't people around to support their false self, it will collapse on top of itself. Because it has a weak foundation and structure. It was built on a house of cards. It's just a fantasy. It's a dream. All the narcissist can really do is manipulate you. The best you will ever get from them is an illusion. They can only sell you the dream. Not because they're trying to do something for you. But because your belief has power.
Your belief is like the batteries for their dream machine. Because all the narcissist really wants is a never-ending dream. They don't ever want to wake up. Any time that they start to regain consciousness, it causes a narcissistic injury. Because they just can't deal with reality. And whenever they see someone who they think has something better or greater... It pulls them back into reality. It makes them feel like they're under attack. So they have to protect and defend their false self. Their narcissism is designed to protect them from ever accepting or tolerating the truth. That maybe they're not as special or as great as they think they are. Whenever it appears that the narcissist is mad. It's because they've just reflected on the fact that maybe they're just another drop in the ocean.