The narcissist targeted you because they recognised your value. If they didn't recognise your value, you never would have crossed paths with them. They targeted you because they valued your qualities and abilities. They recognised that it could be beneficial to them. And that is why they wanted to be involved with you. Because you had value to bring to them. But they didn't have anything of value to bring to you. And that is why these relationships never last. That is why it's destined to fail. Because you don't have anything to replenish yourself. You're giving all of your energy to the narcissist. You're constantly making sure that they're ok. But that then leaves you without anything for yourself. Which results in you feeling drained and lifeless. You feel dead inside. If you were alone, you would be able to sustain yourself. But when the narcissist is constantly feeding off you, it's impossible for you to do that. But this is why they targeted you. They targeted you because they recognised that you had something of value. While they had nothing to bring to you. They don't think that they should have anything to bring to you.
They're arrogant and entitled. They expect you to see it as a privilege just to be around them. Without them doing anything that would benefit you. And when you inevitably end up drained and lifeless, they see it as though there's something wrong with you. They see it as though you're defective. They never look at what they've done to make you that way. They never take accountability for their actions. From the moment they met you, they weren't thinking about how they could take care of you. Or how they could make you happy. They were just in it for themselves. They were just thinking about what they could get out of it. Which is why it's only a matter of time until you end up feeling dead inside. You end up feeling like you've had the life sucked out of you. They targeted you because they saw this fun and adventurous person. This person who was meant to bring excitement to their lives. This person who had all of this value to bring to them. But the narcissist could not keep their end of the bargain. They had nothing of value to bring to you. They want this person with all of the qualities and abilities. With all of the fun, joy and excitement. Without having to do anything for them in return. They just expect you to provide them with constant entertainment. While you get nothing. And they expect you to see it as though that's just what you're supposed to do. Even though you could take what you have anywhere else and get a far better deal. Many people would be able to match what you're bringing to the table. But the narcissist just expects you to forget about all of that. They expect you to settle. They want you to give up everything to be their nothing. When they have nothing of value to bring to you. Which is why whenever you're around them, everything seems so dull and lifeless. It feels like there's no meaning or purpose to anything. Even if you finally achieve your goals and dreams, as long as you're with them it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter. It holds no value or significance. When you know that you could take that somewhere else and it would mean something. It would hold reciprocal value. But here you are, stuck with someone who can't do anything for you. Because they don't have anything of value. They haven't worked on anything that would be beneficial to you. Whenever you talk about value with a narcissist, they always fall back on money or sex. Those are the only things that have any significance to them, because that's all they have. They have nothing else to offer. And the reality of most relationships with narcissists is that the very things that they're supposed to have to offer to you... Are the very things that they're withholding. Because if they gave that to you, they know that you would realise you don't want it anyway.
As long as they're able to withhold something that they think you want, they think that gives them value. But it's not. They haven't worked on anything that would be of value to you. Which is why when you're involved with a narcissist, you feel like you've been conned. Because what they presented to you was something that was supposed to be beneficial to you. But when it came down to it, it was only a hindrance in your life. It was not a fair exchange. But they already know this before they even get involved with you. They know that what you have is far more valuable than what they have to offer. They know that it's not an equal exchange. The game is to make you think that you have to put in the work to earn them. And they do this by making you lose confidence in yourself. Making you doubt your qualities and abilities. And making you think that what you have isn't that great anyway. Or they will straight up ignore whatever they think is valuable. Whatever they think makes you better than them. So that you think that you've got a fair exchange. But no, you've just been duped by a con artist. Because it is not a fair exchange. Which is why at the end of these relationships, you feel like you've lost it all. Because you invested all of your time, energy and money into this and got nothing back in return, other than abuse and manipulation. And they knew this from the very beginning. They knew that they were not deserving of what you had to offer. But as long as they can position themselves and extract what they need from you, they don't care. They want this fun and adventurous person with all of the qualities and abilities, without having to give anything in return. Without having to be anything for you. And they expect it to last. They expect it to sustain itself. Which is just an impossible expectation. Because even if you don't realise it in the beginning. At some point you're going to wake up and realise that it's not a fair exchange. At some point you're going to realise that it's a bad investment. You're going to realise that you could've invested your time somewhere else, where you would've had a better return. And the narcissist is afraid that this might happen. This is one of the narcissist's greatest fears. Which is why they have to keep you down. They have to make you lose confidence in everything you've worked so hard to establish... To make you the person that you are today. So that you don't even realise what is happening to you. You become very insecure. You start to believe that this is all that you deserve. And that's when they've got you. That's when they know you're not going anywhere. Because they've managed to trick you into thinking that you're not going to get a better deal anywhere else. As though this is as good as it gets for you. As though you don't deserve anything more. When that is far from the truth.
You do deserve more. You don't have to give up your life to be nothing for a narcissist. It all starts by realising your worth. It all starts by recognising everything they've done to make you underestimate your value and importance. Because that's how they managed to contain you. They can't control someone who is confident and knows who they are and what they deserve. And that's why they have to control the narrative. They have to tell you who you are and what is right for you. They don't want you to make those decisions for yourself. Because as long as they can make you feel like you're nothing, they can feel like they're better than you. Which is all a narcissist really wants, once they've got involved with you.
And it's easy for them to make you feel like you're nothing, because they have nothing of value to bring to you. They have nothing to make you feel like you're better. But at some point, you begin to see the light. Whether it's from watching my videos or you meet someone who validates your experience. Someone brings love and light to your life. Someone brings value. And that's when you begin to realise your worth. That's when you realise that you do have value. That's when you realise that you deserve more.
Comentarios