When the narcissist sees you as an extension of them, they will expect you to provide them with endless admiration and emotional support. If they see you as an extension of them, they will become very controlling. If they feel entitled to your time, violate your boundaries and make you feel uncomfortable or emotionally distressed, you may be a narcissistic extension. If you feel like you have no time or energy for yourself, you may be a narcissistic extension. When identifying whether you are a narcissistic extension, the first thing to look for is if the narcissist feels entitled to your time and attention. If you are a narcissistic extension, the narcissist will not think of you as a separate person. They will feel entitled to your time and attention. They will not consider if you have the time or energy to engage with them. They will assume that they deserve your time and energy, just because they want it, regardless of how you feel. Because they don't think of you as a separate person. They see you as an extension of them.
In their minds you do not need to have your own separate wants, needs or desires. Whatever they want for you or whatever they think is best for you, which is usually whatever is best for them, is the only thing that matters. They will not consider your wants, needs or desires, because they don't think of you as a separate person. They will expect or want from you whatever they expect or want from themselves. They will assume that your wants, needs or desires are exactly the same as theirs, regardless of how you think or feel. They won't even consider your thoughts or feelings. If they want, need or desire something from you, they will automatically assume that you want, need or desire the same thing from them. Because of this, they can become very demanding of your attention. They may even stalk and harass you. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, they will make assumptions about you and your preferences or needs, to suit their own preferences or needs. If you express a preference or need which is different from whatever they expect or want from you, this may cause a narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage. They expect you to want what they want, need what they need and desire what they desire, whenever it suits them. If you express anything different from their preferences or needs, they will feel as though you are against them or you are trying to make their lives as inconvenient as possible. They will not assume that you have your own wants, needs or desires as they do not see you as a separate person. They see you as an extension of them. They assume that they are deserving of your time and attention whenever they want it, regardless of what you might prefer or how you feel about it. In their minds you are not a separate person, so you have no right to make a separate choice or decision. Essentially, as a narcissistic extension, you are devoid of your free will.
As a narcissistic extension, the narcissist will often cross your boundaries. In their minds there is no boundary, because you are an extension of them. When a narcissist sees you as an extension of them, there will be no boundaries. There will be no separation between you and them. As a narcissistic extension, the narcissist will not realise when you are becoming uncomfortable or emotionally distressed. They will not consider your thoughts or feelings. They will constantly push your boundaries to get you to serve their wants, needs and desires. They will assume that your wants, needs and desires are the same as theirs. When the narcissist sees you as an extension of them, they cannot grasp mentally how your wants, needs and desires could be different from theirs. If they want, need or desire something from you, they expect you to be on the same page as them, regardless of your own preferences or needs. When you are interacting with a narcissist, the conversation may become too private or personal. They will be unable to tell that you are uncomfortable in this situation. They might expect you to disclose private or personal information about yourself and may become angry if you don't disclose this information. They see you as an extension of them, so they expect you to want what they want, need what they need and desire what they desire. If the narcissist sees you as an extension of them, they might take credit for your success. The narcissist sees you as their reflection and they assume that however people view you, is how they view them. Because of this, they will take credit for your success and they will even blame you if they feel that you are not up to their standards. They see you as an extension of them, so they believe that if you are not up to their standards, it reflects negatively on them or makes them look bad.
Be very careful when you question a narcissist on their behaviour. They often become angry if they are questioned. If you confront them about how they are behaving, they will not admit to anything or try to change their behaviour. They will become angry and overtly aggressive or passive aggressive. They might even expect you to apologise for confronting them or questioning their behaviour.
The narcissist has difficulty understanding your wants, needs and desires. If the narcissist sees you as an extension of them, they will be unwilling or unable to meet your needs or allow you to discover your own preferences or interests. They will expect you to share their preferences or interests, which will only be used to serve them, as narcissists are self absorbed and lack empathy. If the narcissist sees you as an extension of them, they will take up a lot of your time and energy. You will not have much time for yourself or to discover your own preferences or interests. You may find that the narcissist doesn't want you to work and gets angry or passive aggressive any time that you talk about starting a new job. You may not be allowed to have your own separate friendships or relationships, or your own hobbies and interests. The narcissist will not see you as a separate being, with your own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. They will only see you as a reflection of their own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. They will expect you to conform to their way of thinking, feeling and what they believe. If they discover that your thoughts, feelings and beliefs are different from theirs, they will pressure you into seeing things the way that they do. They will constantly pressure you into meeting their needs and making them happy.
It will become a lifestyle where your life revolves around trying to please this unpleasable person. They will train you into ignoring your own wants, needs and desires or seeing them as bad or not right. Any time that you do decide to focus on your own wants, needs and desires, you may feel guilt and shame. As though you do not deserve to take time for yourself or you do not deserve to pursue your own wants, needs and desires.
Narcissists like to control everything, including your feelings. They don't want you to tell them how you feel, they want to tell you how you feel. If you experience an emotion, it has to be filtered through the narcissist. You may feel as though you need to have permission to experience certain emotions. The narcissist will try to provoke certain emotions within you. They do not self reflect or look within, so their way of regulating these emotions is to project them on to you. It provides them with temporarily relief from their emotional distress. If you try to leave the narcissist, they will try to manipulate you into staying. They might tell you that they understand what they have done wrong or that they are going to change. They might change for a short period of time, but then their behaviour will return to normal. The narcissist does not see you as a separate person with your own wants, needs and desires. Everything the narcissist does revolves around meeting their own needs. They will only claim that they are going to change, because they know that once you leave, their needs are no longer going to be fulfilled.