Narcissists have an obsessive need for power and control. They have to control the environment because in their minds they don't feel in control. They believe that people without power are insignificant. The narcissist is trying to avoid experiencing this feeling of insignificance. It may seem as though everything is going their way and they have everything they want, but then they fall apart because one thing happens that they didn't like or that they didn't prefer. They feel completely powerless and helpless inside. They cannot regulate their own self worth or their own emotional state. They cannot fulfill their needs on their own. They have to dominate and control the people in their environment, to ensure that their needs will be fulfilled. If a person is not being controlled by the narcissist, they will be living their own lives and doing whatever they want to do. Rather than attending to the narcissist's needs. The narcissist has to create an environment where their needs are priority, so that people will be forced to attend to their needs before their own.
They use manipulation tactics to ensure that their needs are put first. If people are not attending to their needs, they will often rage or become angry. It will cause a narcissistic injury. Until their needs become the priority again. The narcissist cannot feel comfortable or secure unless you are under their control. They naturally feel powerless and insecure and this what creates their obsessive need to control you. Their ideal conception would be for you to do nothing, other than what they want you to do. Waiting for them, until they need you. Due to their obsessive need for power and control, they can often experience great amounts of fear and stress. Their survival is dependent on controlling your behaviours and emotions. They have great difficulty controlling themselves, yet in their minds they believe that they are capable of controlling you. In most situations they are not capable of controlling their victims, who soon realise what they are trying to do and then leave the situation. Even the victims that don't leave the situation end up hating the narcissist. This is not what the narcissist wants, they don't want to be hated. They want to be loved, admired and respected. But what they usually end up with is someone who feels too trapped to leave the situation. They have to force people to stay with them. They have to persuade you to do what they want by using force or threats. They have to manipulate their minds in a way where they feel like they can't leave, they can't get out. Power is very important to the narcissist. The narcissist believes that if they have power, they are not insignificant or weak. They can do whatever they want to do, they can have whatever they want, when they want it. It makes them feel as though they are important and something significant or meaningful to you. Powerful people are often admired or feared. The narcissist will often use force or threats to get what they want from you. They will use emotional manipulation and coercive control. They will use money or sex to control you. Some narcissists are so weak and insecure, that they need to know your location at all times, they need to know who you are with. They need to know your every thought, feeling and action and they will study and over analyze it to death, or else they will fall apart. These are the depths that their obsessive need for power and control can often reach. They need to control every aspect of your life. They might make it seem like they are trying to help you, but it has nothing to do with helping you. They are only concerned about their own needs. Controlling you is their way of fulfilling these needs. They are trying to force you into doing what they want you to do, without any care or consideration for what you want to do. Different narcissists will control you in different ways. It will depend on what kind of narcissists they are, their strengths and what has worked for them in the past.
Some narcissists will become violent or use threats to force you into doing what they want. Other narcissists will try to make you feel guilty or as though you are doing something wrong, for not attending to their needs. The narcissist has an obsessive need for power and control. They can create arguments about anything. Everything becomes a contest or a competition in which they have to win. If they don't win, they will experience anger or rage and then they will have to punish you. They hate it when people try to challenge their power or authority, because it resurfaces this painful reminder that maybe they don't have any. They believe that people who don't have power are insignificant. Without power, the narcissist basically feels like they don't exist.