There are certain things that destroy the narcissist. When you question and confront them. When you discard them. When you go no contact. When you do these things, it will destroy the narcissist. It will ache them to the core. It will really get under their skin. But there is something that destroys the narcissist more than anything else. There is something which really is their worst nightmare. And that is when you move on to something else. That is when you find something better than them. While you were with the narcissist, they played the superior role. They acted as though they were the best thing since sliced bread. As though you couldn't do any better. As though there was nothing greater than them. They targeted your self-esteem. They made you feel like this was as much as you deserved. As though you weren't deserving of anything greater. Even though you gave everything you had to them. You gave your all. While they gave you nothing but crumbs. They gave you nothing but fragments of what they had. But the game was to make you believe that they had this whole other side of them.
They had something that they were withholding from you. Because that was designed to keep you around. They gave you false promises. They used future faking. To make you believe that they had something that no one else could offer you. If you would just be patient and hold on a little longer. That's how the game is played. But the reality is that there's actually another reason why you never got what you wanted from the narcissist. There's another reason why they only gave you the crumbs. And the reason for that is because they knew that even if they did invest everything they have into you... It would never amount to the image that they displayed to you. You wouldn't be satisfied. You would realise that it is a unfair exchange and then you would move on to something else. But if they withhold it from you, it keeps you guessing. Because you can't really estimate the value of something until you possess it. They understand the power of this. Which is why they practice it. Because they already know that if they were to reveal themselves, as you did to them. You would get bored very quickly. Because the reality is that they don't have anything to offer. Which is why they targeted your self-esteem. Which is why they tried to make you feel like you're nothing. Because that's exactly how they feel. It's a projection of how they feel about themselves. But as a good person, you identified with it and tried to do better. When you were fine. You were doing ok. They can't be satisfied, because they're not enough. Not because you're not doing enough for them. Which is why there's nothing that destroys the narcissist more than when you move on to something better. When someone treats you better than they did. Because they know that you can be satisified. They know that you can experience the emotions and fulfilment that they could never feel. This really is the narcissist's worst nightmare. To see you with someone who treats you better than they ever did. Someone who serves you. Someone who attends to you and gives you the proper attention. Someone who discusses terms with you. Someone who celebrates your success. Because that is everything the narcissist never was for you And it makes the narcissist experience regret. It reminds them of what they had failed to do for you. But it comes out as anger and frustration. They get envious and jealous of this new person. When the reality is that the narcissist had their chance to make amends. They had a chance to treat you right. But they refused to do so. Because everything they presented to you was a facade. They didn't even have the tools or the resources to make it a reality. If they did, they would have done it already. They will give you the crumbs as long as they feel that they can But when they see that you're starting to pull away, that is when they will put out all the stops.
They will do anything to the utmost of their power. And that is when you will see their best effort. But most often, it flies under the radar. Because they fed you this narrative of them being superior. They acted so arrogant and entitled. So you assumed that there must have been more that they were withholding. When the reality is that everything you got from the narcissist, was what they had to offer. Narcissists are grandiose. They extract supply from being impressive and imposing. So if they had anything else to offer, they would have revealed that to you a long time ago. It's like the Wizard Of Oz. You were mesmerised by this massively large, projected image of the narcissist. But once you're no longer under their spell, they can no longer live up to that expectation. Because it was nothing more than an illusion. Everything you got was what they had to offer. They want you to believe that there's this whole other side to their personality. But really there isn't. It's nothing but smoke and mirrors. They obscur and embellish the truth of the situation with misleading and irrelevant information. To deceive and confuse you into thinking they're so much greater than they actually are. Which is why nothing destroys the narcissist more than when you move on to something else. When you find someone who treats you better than they did. Someone who is real. Someone who doesn't have to pretend. Because that is everything that the narcissist wanted to be. They wanted to be impressive. They wanted to evoke your admiration. But they could never be fully invested in you. Because then you would realise it's all facade. Which is one of the narcissist's greatest fears. They don't want you to come to the conclusion, that in a world of 8 billion people. They're not as great as they have led you to believe. Which is why they create these orchestrations. Which is why they give you nothing but future faking and false promises. Because they want to keep you under their spell. So that it reflects back to them that they are special and important. When the reality is very different. But it's only when you realise your worth, that you then come to this conclusion. When you move on and you find someone who treats you better than the narcissist. The narcissist isn't going to accept it. They will devalue the new person. They will say that they're just taking advantage of you. Or they will exaggerate their faults or flaws. But deep down they do feel intimidated. They do feel like they have lost you. Because once you're no longer susceptible to their manipulation, they have no power over you. Belief is very powerful. If you believe in something, it has power over you. Which is why your beliefs are so important to the narcissist.
If they can get you to believe in something, they can then control you. Which is why they target your self-esteem. Because your greatest defence against the narcissist is your belief in yourself. As long as they can make you doubt your own qualities and abilities, they can keep you under their spell. Which is why when you finally leave the narcissist, you will feel as though you have been treated unfairly. You will experience resentment. Because then you realise just how valuable you were. You realise that they took advantage of you. While making you believe that you were nothing. But if you want to get revenge on the narcissist, nothing destroys them more than this.
Nothing destroys them more than seeing you receive the treatment that you truly deserve. And it can actually be very healing for you. Your healing is the narcissist's trauma. So any time that you are bettering yourself and improving your life, trust and believe that it is affecting the narcissist. They can't stand to see you happy. They can't stand to see someone else treating you better than they did. And I'm not talking about superficial things. I'm talking about kindness and decency. Dignity and respect. Something you will never get from a narcissist.
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