Narcissists Need Excessive Admiration. Narcissists need to be regarded with respect or warm approval at all times. They need to be looked at with pleasure, as something impressive or attractive. If you look at the nine traits of NPD from the DSM5. Every trait seems to reflect the fact that they require excessive admiration. One of the traits is that they require excessive admiration. I am going to go into the nine traits right now and how this relates to their excessive need for admiration.
Arrogance & Domineering
Narcissists are arrogant. They will often reveal an exaggerated sense of their own importance or abilities. I believe that the reason for this is because deep down they are deeply insecure about themselves.
They feel superior to you. They feel that their traits and talents are superior. Again, I believe that the reason for this is because they are actually deeply insecure about themselves. They have an inferiority complex. They secretly doubt their importance or abilities. They do not believe that their traits and talents are as great as they display them to be. It's almost like there is an internal battle where on one hand they don't really believe they are any good, but then they compare themselves to other people and they understand what the world wants to see. So it's like they are fighting with that negative belief of themselves.
Preoccupation With Success & Power
Narcissists have high expectations of themselves, they do not expect to fail. They have ambitions of achieving success and power as they believe that this will provide them with the attention and admiration they so desperately crave.
Lack Of Empathy
This is what makes narcissists so dangerous. It can be hard to detect but it puts everyone around them at risk of some form of harm. Whether it's psychological, emotional or physical harm. They also have lack of remorse and a lack of guilt. I believe that the reason why narcissists have a lack of empathy is because they are hurt. Hurt people hurt people. In some area of their lives the narcissist is not satisfied or fulfilled in some way and until that need is met, there is no possibility of them simply learning how to empathise with other people.
The problem is narcissists cannot be satisfied or fulfilled. The narcissist is like a cup with a hole at the bottom. If you imagine trying to fill up the cup, it would never be full, it would just leak out at the bottom. It's the same thing with the narcissist.
Belief Of Being Unique
They have this belief that not a lot of people have things in common with them. They are different to everyone else, they are special. This reflects on their excessive need for admiration. They cannot just be like everyone else, or blend in with all of the other people. They have to stand out, they have to be noticed for all of their amazing abilities, traits and talents.
Sense Of Entitlement
The narcissist believes that they deserve certain privileges or special treatment.
I believe that the reason for this is because they constantly compare themselves to other people and believe that they have missed out on a lot of things, earlier in life. If you could look into the narcissist's past, you may actually discover that they did miss out on something that they were entitled to, maybe to someone who was less deserving. This may have been identified by them as a form of special treatment. Remember these traits are most often learned from their environment.
Requires Excessive Admiration
The topic of this video. Yes narcissists have the need to be excessively admired or looked up to by others. They also believe that they deserve this admiration, as they believe that they deserve special privileges.
Narcissists have a defining characteristic of being exploitative. They will use people for their own gain or advantage. I believe that their exploitative nature is fuelled by their lack of empathy. Their urge for engaging in exploitation is a serious threat and poses as a danger for society and those around them.
Envious Of Others
Narcissists have a tendency to be envious of other people. They are envious of other people's progress or success. They are envious of their satisfaction or fulfilment in any aspect of their lives. They are of course, envious of any attention or admiration that other people receive, as they believe that was meant for them. This goes back to their arrogance and entitlement.
Those are the nine traits of NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I'm sure you can see that they most definitely do require excessive admiration. Now I'm going to talk about social media and how this relates to their need for excessive admiration. I believe that social media is even teaching people to become more narcissistic. People seem to have this obsession with uploading selfies, trying to get as many friends, followers and likes as they can. They will even pay a lot of money to have their page promoted.
It seems that attention and admiration is a form of currency more valuable than money. And we can already the effects that this is having on the world. People are now competing with each other for attention and admiration. They are resorting to more desperate and extreme measures, anything to be noticed. People are having plastic surgery, doing whatever it takes to compete for that admiration. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy, so they are willing to step on other people to get what they want.
Why are they so desperate for attention and admiration? I believe this goes back to their childhood. They were most likely neglected as children by their parents. A parent is supposed to give their child attention, admiration, validation and approval. If not by their parent, then at least someone else in their family or their environment. The problem is, the narcissist as a child did not have anyone to attend to their emotional needs. They did not have anyone to show them love or kindness. They did not have anyone to admire, validate or approve of them.
This was very traumatising for the child as we all need attention, admiration, validation and approval especially at that age. This trauma within the narcissist has led them to become very self-absorbed, they only care about themselves, they only care about their own needs. The reason for this is because no matter how much attention, admiration, validation and approval they receive, it's never enough, it never satisfies or fulfills them. As we grow older into adults, we are supposed to attend to ourselves, we are supposed to validate and approve of ourselves.
Narcissists is always seeking validation externally. Narcissists will even fake interest in people who they are not even attracted to. It doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable for them to do this because they do not care about people anyway. Remember, they are self-absorbed and lack empathy. All they care about is what they want in that moment and what they want is attention and admiration. I believe that narcissists will often flirt and fake interest in people who they are not attracted to, because they have a fear of rejection. They will lead them on because they do not see a human being with feelings.
They see people as objects and they in that moment they are basically using that object to extract what they want from it, attention and admiration. Their fear of rejection is so great that they will even arrogantly lie to themselves that the person is interested in them. And this is when they can become obsessed stalkers. If the narcissist is aware that you do not admire or approve of them. You do not see them the way they want you to see them, as this image of perfection. This could cause a narcissistic injury.
From that point on they may try to tear you down or become passive aggressive. They might even begin to stalk you, they cannot handle rejection. If you do not like them or you reject them, that's your fault, something is wrong with you. If you do not view them as this image of perfection, it's like you are attacking them, you are hurting them. So now you must pay. Of course it should be obvious by now that narcissists are lying to themselves. They don't really believe that they are this image of perfection. They are actually deeply insecure and have an inferiority complex.
They constantly compare themselves to other people and are very envious and jealous of them. But when you do or say something, even something as natural and honest as showing disinterest to a person you are not attracted to or interested in. They cannot deal with that. They are living a lie, they do not want you to reveal the truth to them. The problem is, if you are a person that lives in truth, you will not be able to open your mouth without causing a narcissistic injury. This is why narcissists prefer to be around people who are willing to deny the truth and live a lie.
From the beginning of the relationship, you may have noticed that they were training you to deny the truth and accept their lies. Notice how they use tactics like denial, projection, blame-shifting and gaslighting. These are all manipulative tactics which are designed to deny or hide the truth of the situation. Narcissists need excessive admiration to the point where one person could never satisfy this need. The potency of your admiration of them also decreases the longer you are around them. This is why it is so easy for them to discard you and move on.
Towards the end of the relationship the potency of your admiration decreased, so they required a fresh source of supply. Due to the fact that narcissists are self-absorbed and lack empathy, it is likely that the narcissist even cheated on you. Narcissists are prone to cheating, because they can never be satisfied or fulfilled. Narcissists are like cups with holes at the bottom. You try to fill the cup, but the liquid keeps leaking out because of the hole at the bottom. It's the same thing with the narcissist.
You could give them attention and admiration all day everyday, it would never fill them up. And by giving them attention and admiration all day everyday, you would then be instantly reducing the potency of your supply. And they would get bored of you very quickly. Narcissists get bored easily, they are always going from relationship to relationship. They are always buying new clothes, new shoes or new cars. Trying to hold on to whatever admiration they can get.
Once they have got what they want from that relationship or that material item, they are off to the next. It never ends, it's like a constant chase for them, trying to obtain as much admiration as they can. But they can never be satisfied or fulfilled. The liquid continues to leak out of their cup and they are just doing whatever they can to keep it full, but it keeps leaking out. Narcissists are pathologically envious and jealous of any attention or admiration that you might receive. They feel entitled to receive all of the attention and admiration. While in their minds, you are inferior and therefore do not deserve any of that.
In their distorted minds they also believe that you are envious of them. When most of what they say or do displays the fact that they are envious of you. They are extremely competitive and hate to lose. They will try to compete with you in anything and everything, and sometimes you will not even realise that you are in a competition. Envious narcissists also like to use backhanded compliments to put you down or to target your self worth and self esteem. Everything is a game to them, everything is a competition that they have to win. And that's how you know that they are pathologically envious of you.
So they will be envious of any attention or admiration that you might receive. They will also do whatever they can to sabotage or prevent you from receiving any attention or admiration. Because they already know that will make them feel a certain way. If you want to know just how envious the narcissist is of you... pay attention to their level of competitiveness. Are they willing to go out of their way to compete with you? Pay attention to their level of sabotage or prevention. Their actions always reveal just how envious they are of you. They cannot stand you having a source of happiness outside of them because that threatens their control.
It threatens their distorted idea that they are the best, they are what you desire, want and need. So they will compete with you in some form of game, whether it's a real physical game, or something psychological or emotional. Whatever it is they have to win and they will not stop until they have destroyed you. They will not stop until they have eroded your self worth and self esteem. If you have a community outside of them, they will do whatever it takes to destroy that. To turn you against them or turn everyone against you.
This is their way of controlling the situation and regulating their intense feelings of pathological envy. Remember, narcissists are trying to sabotage you because there is something to sabotage. You have some form of ability or talent. They are viewing you as being superior to them and that's why they have to sabotage it and bring you down. They will do whatever they can to erode your self worth and self esteem. You could have all of these amazing qualities but you will not be able to see them, because you are too focused on the narcissist's false attitudes and beliefs towards you.
Remember that the narcissist's false attitudes and beliefs have everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. They are based on their own insecurities and inferiority complex. Their own envy and jealousy of you. So please detach from the narcissist's false attitudes and beliefs. They are especially jealous if someone else gives you the attention or admiration, which they should have been giving to you. In their minds the narcissist is thinking "Why do you need them to give you attention or admiration, I can do that"
Of course, once you leave that person and return to the narcissist the jealousy will fade away and they will go back to who they really are. Remember narcissists are self absorbed, they do not care about what you desire, want or need from them. They only care if there is a threat to their narcissistic supply. It does not mean that they care about you or love you. They only care about their source of attention, validation, admiration and approval escaping. If they really cared about you, you wouldn't even think about going elsewhere.
The narcissist would be there for you, not just suddenly remembering your desires, wants and needs as you are about to get it elsewhere. Whether it's from a friend, family member or even my videos. I hope this video has helped you to understand why and how narcissists need excessive admiration. I know I talked about stalking in this video and this is a very serious crime. Yes the narcissist cannot take rejection and will deny the fact that you are not interested in them.
Narcissists are delusional, they believe that they are somehow significant in your life and they are something you desire, want or need. They are in denial and they just tell themselves that because they can't stand the feeling of not being wanted by us. Some people think this is funny or cute, but it's not, it's a very serious crime. And as mature, responsible people., we should see it that way.