Narcissists Have Nothing To Give. In a healthy relationship, there is a balance of give and take. They support or assist you, and you support or assist them.In a narcissistic relationship, it is very unbalanced. Where the narcissistic partner takes everything all the time and gives nothing in return. In a healthy relationship, people want fairness, honesty, loyalty and trust. Narcissists cannot give you any of that, because they are solely focused on themselves. In their minds, everything flows to or from them, not to anyone else.
Even when they appear to be complimenting someone or criticizing them, they are projecting their own positive or negative traits on to them. They do not acknowledge anyone as being separate from them. Whatever they say about you, whether positive or negative, really has nothing to do with you. It's just a projection of their own positive or negative traits. They do not see you as a separate person and nothing about you interests them, unless it relates to them in some way.
It may seem as though the narcissist is opposed to their relationship partner. Or that they desire to harm them or make their lives difficult. But the truth is, narcissists don't have anything to give anyway. Narcissists have an excessive interest in themselves, they are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They don't have anything to give to you, and they don't have anything to give to themselves. This is why they are always trying to extract resources from everyone around them.
If they already had it within them, they wouldn't need to extract it from everyone else. And even if they did have it within them, they wouldn't give it to you, they are only interested in what you can provide to them. In the narcissist's mind, everything happens to them or for them. Everything happens because of them. Like a toddler, they believe that the world revolves around them and everyone is there to serve them and provide them with what they need.
They do not see people as being separate from them, everyone is just an extension of them, whether good or bad. They cannot appreciate you as a separate person with your own feelings, wants, needs and desires. Likewise, they assume that you have the same feelings, wants, needs and desires as they do, or they will push and provoke you until you do. And even then it's not about giving anything to you, it's about what you can provide to them.
When a narcissist interacts or engages with a person, they see a mirror reflecting themselves. The mirror can either reflect something positively or negatively. When a narcissist interacts or engages with a person, it's like they are looking into a mirror and trying to identify or understand what it says about them. It's all about what you can reflect back to them, they don't have any emotions to give to you. The narcissist will never be able to give you what you want. They will never be able to give you what you deserve. They will never be able to love or appreciate you.
Not only that, but they are like cups with a leak at the bottom. They cannot consider you because they're too focused on how they are going to fill their cup. No matter how much of your love or energy you pour into them, it will always leak out. It will never be enough, it will never sustain them. And because of this, they will never be able to pour anything into you. You cannot pour from an empty cup. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you have to neglect your own feelings, wants, needs and desires.
It is similar to being a full-time mother for a young child or baby. You have to carry them through life, put up with their endless crying and screaming. Absorbing their negativity and taking their abuse. You cannot get what you want from them, you have to wait until they feel like bothering with you. Because it's not about what you want, it's about what they want. And due to their arrogance and entitlement, they will expect you to be appreciative for having the opportunity to basically be their caretaker.
If you don't do what they want you to do or if you are not satisfied with what little they have given you, it will cause a narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage. Even the hint or suggestion that you have feelings, wants, needs and desires of your own may lead to you being discarded by the narcissist. There will be no empathy, compassion, understanding or support unless there is a benefit or gain in it for them. If you are ill, stressed, tired or just having a bad day, if you make a fault or mistake, they will punish you for failing them.
You are unsuccessful in achieving their desired result or goal. Remember, it's all about them. They do not consider you. They do not consider your feelings, wants, needs and desires. Furthermore, they don't even see you as a human being. You are an extension of them. When they look at you or interact with you, they only care about how it relates to them or how it makes them feel. They do not see you as a separate person and nothing about you interests them, unless it relates to them. If it doesn't directly affect or say anything about them, it means nothing to them.