Narcissists Do Not Want A Resolution. The narcissist will never desire to fix anything that is going wrong. They enjoy their position of being the abuser, and you're the abused. This is ideal for them, so why would they ever want to fix that? They are used to chaos and drama in their lives. They lived with chaos and drama daily as a child. Furthermore, they're so used to it that when the environment is peaceful and calm, it feels wrong to them. So they have to do whatever they can to disturb the peace, so it feels normal to them again. Narcissists are used to failure or being told that they are failures.
They are used to never getting what they want, never experiencing real happiness or fulfillment. So even if they are in a happy, satisfying relationship, they will sabotage it on their own and then tell themselves that it was the right thing to do. They do this because inside they really believe that they do not deserve a happy, loving relationship. They believe they do not deserve happiness, fulfillment or peace. So whenever the environment feels peaceful to them, they have to create chaos and drama. The narcissist feels uncomfortable with positive emotions or a peaceful environment.
They cannot experience real, genuine happiness, so they can never achieve true fulfillment from this. They recognise that you do have the ability to feel real genuine happiness, and they realize that they are missing out. But they cannot partake in your enjoyment of genuine happiness, fulfillment or peace. So they have to do whatever they can to sabotage it. Because their happiness isn't like that. It's the same thing with love. The narcissist doesn't have the ability to experience real, genuine love. It doesn't fulfil them. It's not as potent for them, as it is for you. They cannot partake in your fulfillment of real, genuine happiness or love. And this makes them hateful, angry and envious of you.
People who are full of hate, anger and envy will never want a resolution. How could they resolve anything when they have all of these negative, destructive emotions inside them? They cannot resolve anything on the outside until they resolve what is on the inside. Their negative emotions, their childhood traumas, or any other traumatic events they have experienced in their lives. As mature adults, we are meant to self-reflect, look within and identify these negative emotions and traumatic events. The problem is the narcissist is not a mature adult. They are as emotionally immature as a toddler. They don't have the ability to self-reflect, so there could never be a resolution. Their inability to self-reflect also causes them to seek excessive attention and validation from us.
Even if they found a way to look within themselves, all they will find is negative emotions, post-traumatic stress and that is just too overwhelming for the narcissist to deal with. This is why they are so desperate for attention and validation. There is no better validation than what comes from within. Self-validation. The narcissist is constantly looking for attention and validation, every minute of every day. Everything the narcissist says or does is constructed in a way for them to obtain attention and validation. This is always their agenda. And naturally your intuition or gut instinct will pick up on the fact that they are trying to take something from you.
Pay attention to how you feel at all times, it is a clear indicator of what type of person you are dealing with. If you are feeling irritable around a person, understand that it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Narcissists will always make you feel irritable, anxious and confused when they are in your presence. Genuine, honest, emotionally healthy people will not make you feel irritable, anxious or confused. A person who truly deserves to have you around them, will give you the honesty, trust, loyalty and respect which you deserve. The narcissist knows that they are no good for you, they know that they do not deserve you. This is why they have to manipulate and gaslight you into believing that they are all you deserve.
You must let go of any bitterness or resentment you feel. Only then will you be free. Bitterness and resentment are what the narcissist deals with on a daily basis. If you deal with these emotions long enough without acknowledging or resolving them, you too could end up developing a narcissistic personality. The narcissist never deals with their negative emotions or post-traumatic stress. They project their negative emotions, deny their actions and blame-shift them on to you. Like an emotionally immature toddler, the narcissist places you into the parental role and holds you responsible for all of their faults and errors. They also use gaslighting, which is a form of mind control. They have to confuse you, to make you believe that you are the problem.
The narcissist will often create an illusion that they are trying to help you. They might give you little bits here and there, but never enough for you to really progress in life. Their "help" is never consistent. They might "help" you one minute and then abuse you the next. A normal emotionally healthy person knows when to let it go and allow you to continue your life. The narcissist has unresolved traumas and negative emotions which they choose to project on to you. They never self-reflect and that is why they can never let it go no matter how many years go by. If they looked at their own past traumas and resolve them like we do, they would recover too. But the problem is they are not willing to look at themselves, they believe that they are perfect regardless of what they do or say, and you are always at fault.
The narcissist will never take responsibility for their behavior or their smear campaigns because they are emotionally immature. Emotionally mature adults do not talk about you behind your back, and they do not create smear campaigns. They do not abuse or manipulate you. That's what children do. When you become emotionally mature, you leave all of that behind. And as an emotionally mature adult, I'm sure you are trying to leave the narcissist and their emotional immaturity behind. They do not resonate with you. It is hard the first few weeks and even months after the narcissist.
You will experience feelings of anxiety and depression. If they discarded you, understand that it had nothing to do with you personally. The narcissist never took the time to personally get to know you. They were too busy creating their own perception of you. If you discarded them, remind yourself why you did that. If you took a step back from their abuse and manipulation, you did the right thing, no one deserves that kind of treatment. Focus on becoming your best self. Heal yourself from narcissistic abuse. Resolve any past traumas by confronting your post-traumatic stress.
Practice self-love and become self-love abundant. Don't go looking for someone to replace them. Focus on yourself until you are fully healed from narcissistic abuse and develop self-love abundance. Or you will only end up in a relationship with another narcissist.
What kind of person would be attracted to someone who has just left a relationship? Only someone who would want to take advantage of you. You have to heal yourself first, until you are emotionally healthy and ready to meet someone who is healthy also. Energy givers attract energy ta takers, and energy takers attract energy givers.
A person who is truly genuinely happy and loves themselves will repel both energy givers and takers. But then you will attract a new exclusive group of people who are real with you and are actually about good, positive vibes. People who have actually taken the time to resolve their traumas and negative emotions, instead of projecting them on to you. People who are emotionally healthy. You have been through so much with the narcissist, and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. But you owe it to yourself to finally meet someone who does deserve and respect you, someone who will treat you right. And don't worry about the narcissist, they do not resonate with you as a person, and they do not resonate with anything you want in your life. They stand for destruction, we stand for resolution.