Narcissists Are No Fun. Narcissists are boring and predictable. This is why they have an addiction to people and they always need a source of supply. They don't have breaks in between relationships, because they hate to be alone to themselves. They cannot entertain themselves, because they are boring people who have nothing to offer. They will criticise or devalue you for spending time alone, but this is actually a projection because they cannot get the same fulfilment from being alone.
When you are alone you may have your own passions, hobbies and interests. You enjoy working on yourself and learning more about yourself. Narcissists don't do this, they hate to do it. They don't want to self reflect or work on themselves. That would mean that they're not perfect and because they are prone to faults, mistakes, flaws and imperfections, self reflection would instantly make them realise that they are not perfect. They don't want to learn more about themselves, because then they would feel guilty and shameful.
Narcissists are not interested in hobbies or interests unless it is a team sport or something that involves other people. They will only use it for narcissistic supply, it's not about improving themselves. They have no passions, they are not passionate about anything. They will pretend to be passionate about whatever they have heard someone else talk about or if they have seen something on TV. But they have no passions that are unique to them. They just go along with whatever they think everyone else is interested in, or whatever they think will interest you.
The narcissist's idea of fun is either going to be money, sex or material items. And yet neither of these things are going to be fun for you, while you are around them. They will use you for money, sex and material items. They might give you these things occassionally, but it will never be as much or as often as you would like. They will also use these things to make you addicted to them and then they will withhold it from you. They will love bomb you in the beginning, but as time goes by the very things that they used to lure you into the relationship, will be the very things that they withhold from you.
When they give you money or material items, it will never be as though they are just giving it to you out of the goodness of their heart. They will hold it against you and then use it in the future when you don't do something that they want. You may think that they are giving you money or material items because they're being kind, but narcissists always have a hidden agenda. They might be doing it for attention or validation, as a way to obtain narcissistic supply. Or they are going to use it against you in the future. Once they have secured you as a source of supply, they will stop giving you money or material items they won't give you as much as they used to.
Same thing with sex. They will use it to get you hooked in the beginning, then over time they will withhold it from you until you do whatever they want you to do. Or they will just use it as a game to obtain narcissistic supply, it makes them feel powerful and in control. They will also withhold sex from you because they have low self worth and low self esteem. Narcissists will act very grandiose when it comes to sex, but they are also very insecure about it. They don't really believe that they are sexually attractive to you, they are just hoping that they can convince you to believe it.
Narcissists are also sexually repressed and this often results in sex or pornography addiction. Due to the sexual repression, it isn't satisfying for them which creates an endless cycle for them trying to find satisfaction. Because of this, sex with a narcissist will never be any fun. They are self absorbed and lack empathy, so they only care about their own needs. They are just using your body to serve them, which is really crazy because they can't be satisfied.
So although money, sex and material items are the narcissist's idea of fun, none of those things satisfy them. None of those things make them happy.
And people wonder why they then start withholding those things from you? The narcissist soon discovers that money, sex and material items are not going to satisfy them, it just locks them into a cycle where they need more and more, feeling more and more empty the more they obtain. But they understand that you need money, you need sex and material items. And since they have discovered that they cannot find any satisfaction from those things, it's nothing for them to withhold it from you. They can't get the same satisfaction or fulfilment as you can, so they learn a new way of being satisfied from those things and tha is to withhold it from you.
And that's the narcissist's idea of pleasure, that's their idea of fun. If you look deeper into this, it's actually projection again. They feel dissatisfied because they cannot get the same fulfilment from those things. So they are projection their feelings of dissatisfaction on to you, by withholding those things from you. And at the beginning of the relationship, I'm sure it seemed like such a fun idea to spend money with the narcissist, have sex with them, going to stores and buying stuff. This soon changes once they have secured you as a source of supply.
The very things that they used to lure you into the relationship, will be the very things that they withhold from you. They create controlled environments with a controlled outcomes and this is due to your potential, they know your abilities. It is satisfying for them to put you on a pedestal just to knock you down, or give you what you want just so they can take it away and then see your reaction. But of course a large part of the satisfaction comes from not knowing, which is something that they do not get to experience. Since everything is controlled in their environment, they lose the joy and thrill of not knowing what could be.
That's really the beauty of life that they are missing out on. If you already knew everything that was going to happen, you would be miserable too. It's like reading the last few pages of a book before reading anything before, you're not going to go back and read those pages once you already know how it ends, what's the point? And yet this is what narcissists do, because they haven't got a choice, they can't just skip through the pages and get to the end, the controlled outcome. But since they already know what the controlled outcome is, they lose that joy and thrill of life, that excitement.
This is why they are so dull and miserable all of the time. And they will then find a new source of supply who they will be doing all of that with, to secure them. They will post pictures on social media designed to hurt you. This is all because they cannot get the same fulfilment as you can. If they could, they wouldn't care about withholding it from you, they wouldn't even think about posting pictures and using those things to hurt you. They wouldn't have any desire or motivation to do any of that. The desire and motivation comes from their lack of fulfilment which they are trying to obtain by projection their feelings of dissatisfaction on to you through withholding.
And they are also projecting their feelings of jealousy, which is caused by their lack of fulfilment, by triangulating you with someone else. When you were spending time with the narcissist, it only felt like you were having fun because of yourself. You were not having fun with the narcissist. You were having fun with yourself. The narcissist was simply mirroring you, appealing to your own ideals. You could have had a lot more fun if the narcissist wasn't there. The energy or atmosphere would have been a lot better. There would have been no emotional abuse or manipulation. No put downs or backhanded compliments. No public humiliation or exploitation.
Narcissists are no fun, because they take away the peace and joy out of any moment. They hate fun, because they cannot experience it. And since they can't experience it, they will try to ruin your fun. This is why they always have to ruin special occassions like Christmas or birthdays. They are envious and jealous that other people can have a good time, but they can't get the same fulfilment. They cannot be happy for everyone because they hate happiness too, since they can't experience that either. So they will try to destroy their happiness.
Your happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment triggers the narcissist to reflect on their misery, dissatisfaction and unfulfilment with their lives. They don't want to be constantly reminded by this and yet that's exactly what you are, a reminder. You are constantly reminding them of their misery, dissatisfaction and unfulfilment, whether you like it or not. It's kind of sad, but it's really not our fault. Their emotions are their responsibility and it is their choice to not self reflect. So please don't feel guilty or as though you have to tone yourself down.
You have every right to enjoy your life, be happy and have fun. If anyone makes you feel as though you are guilty or wrong for doing that, it's because they are not they are not happy or having fun. When you are in the state of happiness and joy, you want other people to feel the same way. Only someone who lacks those positive emotions, would want you to be miserable. Narcissists are shame-based individuals. Shame is the lowest emotional vibrational frequency. They pick up on your high vibrations and that's what keeps them coming back. That's what they keep trying to destroy. They want to stamp out the fire within you, because it is that fire that they will never have.
The narcissist does not want you around to give you anything. It's not about that. They are not trying to lift you up or make you feel good. As I said earlier, the only reason it even felt like you were having fun with them, was because of you. You brought the fun to the narcissist or that environment. That's the only reason why they were there, the only reason why they wanted to be around you. They cannot create any form of happiness or fun on their own. They need you to project those positive emotions on to them. Narcissists will create illusions as though they are happy or having fun.
This is usually something where they have observed how you act or behave and now they are imitating you. They are mirroring you and appealing to your own ideals. But that's not really them and that's not really what they are about. They just know that's what you are like and what you are about. It's a grooming tactic designed to lure you in and secure you as a source of supply. Once they have secured you, all of that goes away and then you see who they really are and what they're really about. Which is usually causing misery, pain and suffering to you.
If they are creating illusions as though they are happy or having fun, but they are not trying to secure you as a source of supply. Like in situations where they use triangulation. They are trying to project their envy and jealousy on to you. They have been observing you and how you are such a happy and fun person. This has made them feel a certain way and they don't like how it feels. They also don't want to self reflect and identify why they feel that way. So instead of self reflecting, they will project their feelings of envy and jealousy on to you. By acting as though they are happy or having fun without you. This is another reason why they will triangulate and post pictures on social media.
It's all about proving to you that you're not the happy, fun person you think you are and they can have a good time without you or they do not need you. If that was really true, they wouldn't even have to prove that to you. But they will try to prove it to you, because it's not true. They know that you are a happy, fun person. If you take a step back and look at all of their illusions, it's all based on you. What you have been doing or what you are about. They're basically telling you exactly what they are envious and jealous of and then using it to project their emotions on to you.
Detach your emotions and then look at what they are displaying to you. Then you will see just how ridiculous they look and how they're really not about anything. To conclude on this video. Narcissists are no fun. They only keep you around because you are a happy and fun person. But this then triggers them to reflect on how they are not happy or fun. So they will do whatever they can to destroy this. They will becoming more controlling and try to restrict or manage what fun you do have. Keeping you in the home, stopping you from having social circles or hobbies and interests. For more information on how they will do this, check out my video "The Narcissist Does Not Want You To Experience Real life"