This is going to be my most controversial video. I have never been one to sugarcoat things. I don't like to deny the truth. But I think this is an important topic, so I have decided to talk about it. After narcissistic abuse, you may fear intimacy. You may no longer desire to be around people of the opposite sex. This can occur from narcissistic abuse mainly from either a parent or relationship partner. But it can also be caused by narcissistic abuse from a friend, boss or anyone else. Narcissistic parents are likely to have had many negative experiences with people of the opposite sex. Whether they know it or not, this has planted thoughts in their head that people of the opposite sex are bad or not right. This is what the narcissistic parent will then teach you, any time that you try to talk to someone of the opposite sex or have a relationship.
Narcissistic parents are also pathologically envious and jealous of their scapegoat child. Any time that you try to develop a relationship, it triggers them to reflect on a time when they failed to succeed in a relationship. Or they got rejected from someone. Or they didn't have the quantity or quality of relationships which they desired. So now when the narcissistic parent sees you trying to develop a relationship with someone, it triggers them to reflect on this. The narcissistic parent will then devalue you to your relationship partner, or they will devalue your relationship partner to you. This will make you feel as though something wrong. As though you shouldn't be doing what you are doing. As though there is something wrong with people of the opposite sex. When this is done over a long period of time, you may no longer desire to have relationships. You may have a negative view of men or women. You may develop a fear of intimacy or emotional vulnerability. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, they will teach you to hate them. In the love-bombing phase, they need your attention, validation, approval and admiration of them. But once you have made a fault or mistake, or they recognise an imperfection or flaw which you will inevitably have. Suddenly you go from being the most perfect, amazing person to being worthless and useless. It's black or white thinking. They have to think this way to function. The way that they perceive you, reflects on how they perceive themselves. So for them to continue seeing you as being this perfect, amazing person, it would constantly trigger them to reflect on their own
insecurities. Their own faults, mistakes, flaws and imperfections. This is what causes the devaluation phase.
Where they start to devalue and degrade you and target your self-worth and self-esteem so that they can feel better about themselves. In the devaluation phase, they feed off your negative emotions. Negative emotions such as hate, anger, envy and jealousy towards them. They train you to feel this way. Over time, this will make you associate intimacy with something negative. You will begin to fear intimacy. It will make you associate people of the opposite sex with something negative. You will no longer desire to be around people of the opposite sex. This is also exactly how the narcissist wants it. They do not want you to move on and find someone else after they are gone. They want you to be so afraid and broken down, that you don't even desire to be with anyone else. This is due to their pathological envy and jealousy of you. So what effect will this have on you after the relationship? You will develop a fear of intimacy. You may no longer desire to be around people of the opposite sex. I can see that there is a lot of hatred and anger towards women in general after these men have been abused and manipulated by narcissistic women. So now large numbers of men fear intimacy.
They no longer desire to be around women. They have a deep hatred towards them. You can go on any MGTOW video and see this for yourself. The effects on narcissistic abuse on codependent men. But this is not the only effect that it has had on them. Although they have been abused, their desire doesn't completely go away. They may not desire to be around women who have had a lot of sexual partners, women who are around their age. But I have noticed a recurring theme throughout the comments on these MGTOW videos. These men clearly have a lot of hatred and anger towards these abusive and manipulative women, who are around their age. Over time, those women changed their beliefs about themselves, other women and the world around them. They led them to believe that women are bad or not right. The targeted their self-worth and self-esteem and made them believe that they are not good enough or something is wrong with them. So now those men no longer have the desire to be around women. But the desire to have some form of intimacy or a relationship is still there, just not with women their own age. Now, these men are more interested in virgins. Girls who do not have any sexual or relationship experience. And this is another effect of narcissistic abuse, which I have noticed not only from men but also women. Victims of narcissistic abuse naturally develop this fear of intimacy and lose the desire to be around people of the opposite sex, who are their own age. But they seem to become more interested in people who are far younger than them. I'm not completely sure why this is. But I believe that they have identified that the more sexual or relationship experience has, the more opportunities it gives them to be a narcissist.
You will find that male victims of narcissistic abuse are now looking for virgins who have had no sexual or relationship experience. I can't help but wonder how many women, unless underage, could still be virgins. These comments do suggest that they are looking for girls who are very young. Girls who are innocent or naive. Girls who have a lack of experience, wisdom or judgement. Who are less likely to abuse and manipulate them. This is the effect that narcissistic abuse is having on us. I guess when you continue looking for people your own age and keep being abused, naturally, you are going to stop desiring to be around
them. As Einstein once said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result. So rather than looking for people who have plenty of experience in relationships to practice their narcissism. Victims of narcissistic abuse are now developing a preference to be with people who have a lack of experience, wisdom or judgement. Virgins or even underage girls. This is the effect of narcissistic abuse on these men. They were likely controlled to the point where they had a dependence on those narcissistic women. They couldn't do anything on their own, because narcissists have to control everything. They lost their independence. Narcissists make you feel like you are a child and you cannot do anything right, or anything on your own. You always need their assistance.
Following these obsessively controlling situations where these men were likely made to be dependent on these women like they were their parents, so now they no longer have much in common with women their own age. They have more in common with young girls who are several decades younger than them and likely living with their parents. When you are around narcissists for long periods of time, you lose your independence. You lose the ability to have control over your own life. The sad truth is people, in general, have lost their innocence. They have lost that childhood magic which made life worth living. Now, all we see are people who are miserable, fed up with life and so they spend what time they have left devaluing or degrading the next person and taking it out on them. Sorry if I offend anyone by saying this, but I just want to tell it like it is. And to be honest, I feel comfortable talking about this here, as survivors of narcissistic abuse are usually the ones who still have that spark, that childhood magic. It's what makes a woman so attractive. It's one of the main reasons why the narcissist targeted you. And it has become a very rare quality to have in this world. To be humble and modest. To appreciate the little things in life. To find the joy, the satisfaction and fulfilment in simply doing nothing at all. Being present at the moment, in touch with your senses. Seeing everything, hearing everything. Experiencing great satisfaction from the smell of perfume, or the taste of one of your favourite foods. Feeling every touch, every kiss, as if you have never touched or kissed before. Of course, it's not just women who are like this.
People in general. We have this obsession with achieving and obtaining everything. Buying expensive clothes, cars, jewellery; to impress people we don't even like or people who don't even care and will probably only hate us even more anyway. We have forgotten how to connect, we have forgotten how to be intimate. Most people once they get to a certain age, they become like zombies on autopilot. They are fed up of life and it shows in their behaviours. They are always ruminating on the past or anticipating the future. And it's a real problem. It should be no surprise that the most common illnesses in this world are stress, anxiety and depression. After being discarded by a narcissist, victims are likely to have a fear of abandonment. I have observed from comments on MGTOW videos, that the victims believe a girl who is a virgin is less likely to abandon them. We work hard to provide for these narcissistic or toxic women. Even before we met them. We work hard to afford nice clothes so we can look good for them. We buy expensive cars because we know that women like expensive cars. And these women think they can just come into our lives, use us for everything we've got. Cheat on us with another man and then take half of everything we have earned? They might be women, but they are not real women. Real women might take whatever you are offering them, but they will also give in return. They will not abandon you over a little disagreement. But that's exactly what these narcissistic or toxic women are doing. Coming into our lives and using us for our resources and then they are off to do the same thing with another man. So because of these women, MGTOW people are desiring to be with young girls, virgins, who are less likely to abandon them. And I know it's not just women who are doing this, there are men doing this too. It's sick, they should be ashamed of themselves. But of course, they are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They just tell you whatever you want to hear and make you believe that they are interested in commitment. But really they are just using you for whatever you've got.
Research shows that therapists will not normally diagnose narcissism in a person until they are at least 18 to 25 years old. This suggests that narcissism isn't fixed until at least the age of 18. This could be another reason why narcissistic abuse victims are developing a preference for people with a lack of experience, wisdom or judgement. These men no longer trust women who are anywhere near their age, as they have been manipulated so many times. They no longer desire to even be around them. But that doesn't make their desire for sex or a relationship go away. They still desire to have those things, just with a person who is less likely to manipulate them. A person with a lack of experience, wisdom or judgement is going to be far less likely to do this. They are going to be less likely to control them. Less likely to use manipulative tactics. These men have been manipulated so many times by these narcissistic women, that they no longer even desire to be around them. It's sad and very shocking, but this is reality. And we have no one to blame except narcissists, this is the effect of narcissistic abuse.