Does The Narcissist Miss You?
Do they feel regret or sadness at no longer being able to enjoy your presence? Do they notice your absence? This has more to do with them and their feelings than it does to do with you. They do not miss your personality, or who you are as a person. They do not miss your characteristic traits or qualities. They miss how you made them feel. During the love-bombing phase, they displayed a false character to you. You gave them your attention and admiration. This made them feel desirable or attractive. It made them feel as though they were worth something. As though their false self actually existed. You validated their false self and the illusion that they portrayed. This made them feel good about themselves. It had nothing to do with you as a person. It had nothing to do with how they felt about you. It was all about them and how they felt about themselves. They were just using you to regulate their emotions. To regulate their self-worth, self-esteem, and self-importance. You were nothing more than an object which they used to serve their own agenda, their own needs. They didn't see you as anything more than that. During the devaluation phase, they abused you. Emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and sometimes even physically or sexually. They targeted your self-esteem. They made you feel as though you could never be good enough for them or anyone else. They made you feel as though you couldn't do anything right. They projected their insecurities on to you. While they were abusing you. And denying that they were doing anything wrong, or shifting the blame on to you. Gaslighting you. Making you question your own memory, perception, and sanity. They had control and influence over you.
Their behavior had a strong effect on your thoughts and feelings. This made them feel as though their false self existed. It made them feel as though they were something significant to you. It made them feel powerful. It was all about how you made them feel. They used you like an object and pushed your buttons, to make them feel however they wanted to feel. They didn't appreciate or respect your personality or who you were as a person. They didn't appreciate or respect characteristic traits or qualities. So how could they ever miss anything about you? It's about their feelings. They cannot mention or refer to your feelings. They don't even care about how you feel. It's all about them. It's about how they feel. They miss how you made them feel. They miss what you did for them. They miss what you gave to them. When they needed you, you were always there. You genuinely cared about them and wanted to help them. This is a very potent source of supply for the narcissist. If they needed something done, if they needed someone to take care of them, you were always there. You provided them with amusement or enjoyment. You gave them your time and energy. You paid for meals. You bought them gifts. You gave them money. You were affectionate to them.
That is what they remember. That is what they miss. They feel regret or sadness at no longer being able to have privileges. Those special rights or advantages that they no longer have. It has nothing to do with you as a person. They miss how you made them appear in front of other people. The impression that you presented to the public. How you improved their image. They have to display this false deceptive appearance of being impressive or imposing in appearance or style. It makes people notice them and admire them. It makes people look at them as something impressive or attractive. It regulates their emotions and boosts their self-worth, self-esteem, and self-importance. But it had nothing to do with them appreciating or respecting you as a person.
You were nothing more than an object which they used to fulfill their need for narcissistic supply. They don't miss you. They don't miss your personality, or who you are as a person. They don't miss your characteristic traits or qualities. They miss how you made them feel. They miss what you did for them. They miss what you gave to them. And they miss how you made them appear in front of other people.
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